eat.moretrifl.es

Apple Patents you might not know about...

2012-01-25T16:50:00.001Z

Apple™ have a surprisingly large number of patents either issued or pending and seem to sue at the drop of a hat, so just to avoid any trouble I thought I would share with you some of their more unknown ones...

The Periodic Table of Elements™
Apple™ patented the elements back in 1325. They sued Mendeleev for tabulating them and won on an out of court settlement. Mendeleev was bankrupted and went back to counting iron™ filings for a hobby.

Fire™
Apple™ successfully ruled out prior art for fire™ after successfully patenting lightning™. Now when lightning™ creates fire™, Apple™ owns the fire™.

The Wheel™
The original wheel™ was Apple™ shaped, but people complained that the ride was bumpy. Apple™ therefore patented the Orange™ and based the wheel™ on it's shape instead.

The Apple
When God™ gave man the Apple™, man didn't realise that the Apple™ was already patented by Apple™ and that God™ was just Steve Jobs™' bitch. Man ate the Apple™ and unleashed lawyers on the world.

Keeping still™
Apple's™ broadest patent governs not moving. If you don't move you are likely to be sued. The solar system was scared and the planets began spinning and orbiting just to avoid possible litigation. By this very action, no person on the planet is ever still and thus Apple™ can no longer sue, although there is a rumour that a place exists in the universe near to where the Big Bang™ happened in which nothing moves. Apple™ is trying to find this place so they can sue it.

Music
Apple failed to patent music, but managed to patent the time signatures 7/8™, 5/8™ and 13/8™ in 1979, 1981 and 1988 respectively. Progressive rock has never been the same since.

The Big Bang
The Big Bang™ was not created by a Chuck Norris™ roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris™ was created by Apple™ booting up their first Apple ][™.

Happy New Year for Tomorrow...

2011-12-30T13:52:00.000Z

Still here... just mostly on G+ these days as it is more interactive.

My 3DS comes to life at last!

2011-12-04T14:17:00.001Z

After 6 months of weak games (except for Zelda) the 3DS has finally had it's breath of life with the release of Super Mario Land 3D and Mario Kart 7 within just a few weeks of each other. Couple that together with the awesome download of Zen Pinball, and to a lesser extent the rather funky if quite strange Freakyforms and the 3DS has finally come of age and is now accompanying me everywhere again.

I now await the system update with 3D video recording... and hope Youtube can support it!

I have also now purchased a new Mifi (my last one went "missing", mysteriously). Thankfully the missing one didn't have much credit left on it - but annoying still. The new one is rather good, delivering HSPA+ speeds of up to (allegedly) 21Mbps, although I must say I've struggled so far to get 4Mbps - although that is still admirable when you consider our house connection is 10Mbps and that relies on fibre optics!

Finally - what are you doing next Saturday night? Sheffield Corporation - Manning releasing Margaret's Children.... plus support from Andy Tillison-Diskdrive. What more could you want for under a tenner?

A New Social Network Idea!

2011-11-18T11:53:00.001Z

I have come up with a new idea for a Social Network to replace Facebook, G+, Twitter etc...

It's called Face2Face and what you do is you phone a friend, meet up, and then sit and talk about things.

I think perhaps the POKE feature of Facebook could be abused so was thinking of disabling that facility.

Apps could include "Pub", "Coffee Shop", "Wine Bar", "Cafe", "Restaurant" and "Park".

Do you think it would take off?

Laptop Conkers

2011-11-16T16:35:00.001Z

The rules of Laptop Conkers are simple.

When in a fast food outlet or other location offering free Wifi you find a number of reps and other such people.

Generally you will find laptop envy - someone will pull out a laptop, and the next guy will pull out a bigger faster laptop.

I therefore propose that the scornful look given by the bigger/better/faster/more expensive laptop owner therefore is the throwing down of the gauntlet for a challenging game of Laptop Conkers.

RULES:
Using any chosen port on your laptop, attach a dongle/cable to use as a string (may I suggest a VGA, Serial or Parallel port as they have the best tethering method). USB and Firewire tend not to be too stable. This is the only method by which the laptop is permitted to be handled during the game.

The challenger gets first strike and the person challenged must hold out their laptop by the cable whilst the challenger gets a strike, in the style of conkers. Any method of swinging is permitted but all swings must be done using only the cable. Any misses are counted as lost turns and the turn passes on.

After a strike, the places reverse and the challenged has a go at hitting the challengers laptop in return.

The first laptop to break is the loser. String (cable) detachment is also counted as a lose. By BREAK the official rules state that a piece of the laptop must strike the floor or another surface around the players.

...The first guy who has challenged me has a Macbook Air... I have a Panasonic Toughbook CF-18.

Odds are 28,000:1 on me winning..... ;-)

Of flickr.

2011-11-14T13:39:00.001Z

I had a comment made by someone that they were sad I have now stopped posting (mostly) to flickr.

I know you will know by now I am a big fan of Google+ - but a reason why has now actually occurred to me!

Facebook is the social network, and it can't be denied that G+ hasn't been quite as successful as Google would like (although that may change - I remember everyone saying MySpace was the bees knees and Facebook was the new boy and a bit uncool)... but Facebook seriously lacks in one area:

Facebook doesn't do photos. Period.

Yes, you may THINK Facebook does photos, but when you are a photographer who posts pictures of the order of size of 4000 pixels along the longest edge you realise just how poor Facebook's photo engine really is. It's displays of photos are weak, and it's security of the said photos (and in particular Facebook's own sharing and syndication policies) borders on the ridiculous.

Flickr, on the other hand, had the edge on the photography front. OK, so it took them ages to get a lightbox working properly, and the interface was good for the day, however, flickr has a serious problem - it is now lagging sorely behind Picasa on many features; and Google's purchase of Picnik has possibly damaged Flickr even more. Flickr's main problem, however, is sharing with non flickr members - it's clunky and to make any comments you need a Flickr account. Most people who don't actually care about photography and just want to see the odd pretty picture won't bother with a flickr account and so can't socially interact with your photos.

Google+ didn't even bother trying to create a photo engine. Google already owned one - and possibly now the best of the bunch. Picasa has existed for many years, and where flickr fails, Picasa pwns. Picasa has the incredibly cool piece of software that sits on a Windows or Linux desktop and makes it all happen - but when you're away from the desktop - the online uploader and editor is still pretty tozzin.

Most people, also, already have a G+ account - or at least a Google account - just because of Youtube or Blogger - so when you send them the share link they get dropped into G+ and can see all photos shared with them - in a very nice environment to view them, compete with lightbox! If they're signed into their Google Account they can comment and interact with your photos... and you can easily allow them downloads.

So you may ask why I didn't move earlier?

Well... cost. Picasa was traditionally very expensive. It's still not as cheap as flickr - especially as on flickr you get unlimited space for your money. Google and Picasa requires Google Storage to have any serious amount of space, and Google Storage has always been rather pricey - until about a year and a half ago when 80 gig of storage suddenly dropped below the $30 mark.

So I will leave it to you to make up your own mind which you use.

Movember

2011-10-29T11:03:00.003+01:00

I will be taking part in Movember this year to raise money for Prostate and Testicular Cancer charities.

You can sponsor me at http://mobro.co/krishudsonlee

I will be posting regular updates here, and on my Google+ account.

Not in my back yard!

2011-10-16T08:39:00.000+01:00

The NIMBY. A 90's phrase coined to label anyone who objects to something being built near them.

"Not in my back yard" is what you'll hear these dullards screaming when anything which might just make the slightest mark on their middle class lifestyle is proposed.

Take, for example, wind farms.

Now it just so happens that the best areas for wind farms happen to be naturally high ground, and natural funnel shaped valleys really help scoop up the wind and form a jet. Now it also happens that naturally high ground tends to have a slightly higher value because, after all, we all want a view.

Marr, Hickleton and Barnburgh - three villages not too far away, and all three of them full of rather expensive housing are to be "blighted" by "shock horror" the "ugly manifestation" of a wind farm, generating 8 megawatts of electricity (which is enough for around 16,000 homes). The electricity for these three villages is currently produced by the mass of power stations clumped along the Humber Estuary; Ferrybridge, Eggborough and Drax.

Whilst the view on a sunny day can be quite dramatic with the three columns of steam rising up and the artificially produced cumulus clouds heaped up above them, you have to realise that we cannot and must not rely on fossil fuels for the future of electricity generation. We must all do our bit and microgenerate. Whether it is an array of solar panels sat on our roof, or a mini wind turbine, or even just a personal solar charger used to keep our mobile phone running - it all helps towards the big picture.

These people who don't want the blight of such things are usually the same people who won't think twice about booking an expensive holiday (thus using carbon by the bucketload and blighting someone else with their noisy aeroplane) or upgrading to the latest flat screen plasma 50" TV (and just throwing the old one away, thus creating a massive electrical waste nightmare).

These flat plasma TV's use electricity too, did they not realise that? whilst typing their latest complaint email to the council (using their laptop, using electricity) and sending it wirelessly (using the mobile phone mast they so objected about in 2007) and then printing a copy off for their records (using a printer and ink shipped from China and made using electricity generated in someone elses backyard).

So, perhaps a new law should be introduced?

Anyone who objects to a particular service or facility introduced into their area should be banned from using such services in all areas for life?

The Sheffield Supertram extension, people of Wickersley? - well when you get into your dotage and can't drive any more you're not allowed on public transport.

New landfill or waste processing plant? - deal with your own waste.

A new array of wind turbines, or some pylons? - fancy generating your own electricity.

Mobile phone masts? - stop using your bloody mobile phone then.

So in short. Either embrace the technology and the cost that comes with it, and stop expecting everyone else to put up with mess created by your perfect middle class lifestyle.

Cookies?

2011-10-15T19:00:00.001+01:00

This just amused me. It's not often you think of a Sesame Street character swearing...

Have a song on us!

2011-10-14T16:33:00.002+01:00

Spotify vs Grooveshark

2011-10-06T17:08:00.000+01:00

A lot of fuss has been made just recently about Grooveshark - especially the fact the adverts aren't audible (i.e. they are onscreen) and the fact it has so much more on there than Spotify.

Well, I decided to try Grooveshark for a few hits and all I can say is I am thoroughly disappointed with it!

Yes, it has so much more on there, and yes you can find any song you like - but what a mess the entire system is!

Searching, for example, Queen II - the definitive album by the Rock Band Queen gives you about 40 versions of the album. Some of them have only half the tracks, some of them have tracks named wrongly, some of them have tracks in the wrong order. Just searching through to find a good version takes ages - and then you have to compile it yourself! The quality is hit and miss, and some of the tracks have jitter and skips where they have been poorly ripped. When you find a playlist called "For Dad" which happens to pop up, you can tell no-one is actually filtering this stuff!

Searching it in Spotify gives you one version. Queen II... the definitive version. The 2004 remastered version with bonus tracks. The bonus tracks are labelled as such, and the album is top notch quality because it has been submitted to Spotify as a WAV file and Spotify have done the processing.

So, in short;

If you want free streaming audio that's about as tidy as a 12 year old's MP3 player then Grooveshark is for you.

If you value music and want a clean collection that's easy to find what you want in, then Spotify is the best way.

Flickr -> Picasa. Phew!

2011-10-05T13:43:00.003+01:00

I have posted photos on flickr for many years now, and in that time have amassed over 16,000 pictures - some are just cheesy little camera phone VGA size pictures; but since late 2008 I have owned a DSLR and have been taking photos using a 10 megapixel CCD.

As you can imagine - this has set my photostream in a very high kilobyte count... in fact I would hasten to say gigabyte. In total, I have 14 gigabytes of photo data on my flickr photostream!

Now recently, flickr hasn't evolved. It's interface isn't the best, and I find it clunky at times. I have used Picasa side by side for a while now and the Picasa interface knocks spots off Flickr; but the community hasn't been there in the same way.

Then along comes Google Plus...

Google really have got their heads screwed on right. Where facebook becomes bigger and clunkier by trying to do everything itself, G+ outsources things like photos and videos - after all, Google do own Picasa and Youtube (although - note - you CAN post videos on Picasa). The community is suddenly there - but instead of comprising mostly of people you don't really know - as is on flickr - it now comprises of your friends and family.

Picasa has an amazing face detection system which also swings things for me. The more photos you identify people on, the more it learns what they look like; such to an extent that I now upload a band photo and it tags all the members for me without me even having to do a thing.

Yes, I therefore am migrating my ENTIRE photostream to Picasa storage. It's no more expensive than flickr ($24 a year) although unlike flickr it does have a size limit (which I will still be miles off!) and the size limit is upgradeable (subject to paying out more money), and the virtual cloud drive of Google is also shared with Google Apps and Google Mail... but I don't mind. I like the cloud. I quite like the Google cloud (although I do also use Dropbox, just in case).

Anyway, for you tech heads - I am using a nice piece of software called Bulkr to download stuff... and just Picasa to upload back to the Google cloud. I do wish Google would do a photostream import, but I should imagine Flickr would object to massive raids on their Yahoo! owned file storage.

Hello Facebook. We won't be seeing each as much.

2011-09-22T21:32:00.000+01:00

I'm sorry, Facebook, but you've changed. I don't like the changes I see in you these days.

I want something fresh and new, not something tired, old, bloated, and worse - something that attempts to copy someone elses work and makes a fair old hash up of it.

I'm not deleting my profile just yet, but I won't be posting on there any more.

See my Google+ at http://moretrifl.es

Recycling Laptops

2011-09-09T20:50:00.001+01:00

Today I got a new laptop...

Well actually I got an old laptop!

I have never been someone to buy the biggest flashiest laptops - indeed for a year I ran an EeePC 700, however this time I have really gone to town with a massive 900mhz processor and 256meg of memory.

Welcome my new Panasonic Toughbook CF-18b!

A few changes around here

2011-09-07T21:22:00.000+01:00

You've probably noticed by now that this is Blogger and I am back on here.

Yes, I have switched back from Posterous after a few months over there. I might well import my posts back across.

Things in general in my online life have changed in particular regarding Facebook...

Facebook has been annoying me for a while. It sprays your personal data across the internet like an unneutered tom cat whilst allowing other people to add you and then fill up your profile and email inbox with crap. I have decided to therefore use Facebook less and less with the eventual aim of quitting it entirely.

My social networking is done on Google+ from now on - I am really digging the circles thing and I love the way you don't have to reciprocate on friend adds.

Finally, I have a domain pointing here now: http://eat.moretrifl.es will get you here.

I am back on Blogger!

2011-09-07T20:17:00.001+01:00

Google have slicked up the interface for Blogger and I must say it's wonderful!

Beautiful sunset

2011-03-13T21:00:00.001Z

Taken over the Starlight & Starlings event at RSPB Low Moor

Posted via email from Kris's posterous

Sunset over Low Moor

2011-03-13T20:56:00.001Z

Amazing sunset over the Starlings and Starlight event at RSPB Low Moor.

Posted via email from Kris's posterous

The cat's not right in the head.

2011-03-13T14:35:00.001Z

Eve may have had too much catnip methinks...

Posted via email from Kris's posterous

Gallstones... then no gallstones.

2011-03-08T18:57:00.002Z

Today I have had shockwave therapy on my dozen little trinkets contained within my gallbladder.

It wasn't quite what I expected - I expected them to hold a little gun against my belly, press a trigger, and a clicking noise to work the magic.

Nope.

I was showered, sterilised, dressed in a surgical robe (just in case I needed emergency surgery... thanks for the reassurance!) and then whisked down to a theatre.

I laid on a very big fat comfortable airbed... and thought "ah this is the life"... until they shaved part of my belly, and them stuck a needle in me. Gee thanks. A local anaesthetic, because apparently the shockwaves can hurt. Nice.

Finally, a large C shaped machine was tucked under me and over me, tightened up until it compressed my abdomen slightly, and then I was velcroed down to the bed. Yes this was getting fetishistic... especially considering they had lubed me up with KY Jelly on my stomach!

The treatment itself consisted of moments of a rather violent buzzing sensation and clicking, and then calm whilst they stuck an ultrasound camera on me and checked the progress... it was amazing to see my blood flowing in my portal vein, and I could make out my right kidney, and my large and small intestines!

After a while and a large number of these clicks I watched the number of stones diminish from actual stones into cloudy patches.

Finally, I was cleaned down (yay!), and whilst still on the bed taken up to a recovery bay where I was kept until I was ready to get dressed again.

I am now sore, on a restricted diet, and my guts feel all bubbly... apparently all normal. There are a few more things I need to watch for as they are normal. I have a little bottle of tablets (2 a day for 14 days) and they should suppress bile production, as such meaning I have to have a low fat diet.

I'm now rather tired... but feel better knowing the procedure was 100% successful.

I doubt I'll be at work tomorrow though... I really am that sore.

Justin Bieber... and other such demons.

2011-02-11T23:53:00.004Z

Today I saw an advert for a Justin Bieber movie.

At the bottom of the screen it said "contains no scenes likely to offend anyone"...

er... apart from the hour and a half or so of Justin Bieber... that's likely to offend the entire world.

Secondly, I was rather amused today to find that the Antichrist of Micro$oft has twinned up with the Micro$oft of the mobile phone world - often known as Nokia. When I heard of this match made in hell I thought of the scene in the South Park Movie where Satan and Saddam Hussain are in bed together.

Still here...

2011-02-11T23:49:00.001Z

I haven't posted for a while, but I am still here.

NOT on Tumblr

2011-02-05T15:49:00.000Z

Scrap the last post...

No comments on Tumblr! - aaarrrgghhh!

Looks like I'll just have to live with Blogger for now.

IMPORTANT

2011-02-04T09:22:00.002Z

Blog moved to

http://kkhl.tumblr.com

Sadly, Google haven't got their shit together with regards to Blogger on mobile phones. Tumblr have and since most of my blogging is done from my mobile it sorta makes sense.

I won't be deleting this blog - but for now at least I will be blogging at tumblr.

...go on then dream people, interpret this one.

2011-01-30T20:30:00.002Z

Last night I had a strange dream. It's a dream I've had once before, and it's one of the few dreams I've known to be repeated. It has me stumped - anyone care to help?

I'm at work, on a day servicing fire alarms. One of my customers is a working men's club. Nothing unusual there - I have many working men's clubs on my customer base.

However... this one is different, because it is on a very small rugged island which can only be accessed by a very small boat. There are no roads on the island, yet the club has a car park. The club is the only building on the island, and there are no other residents.

I don't recognise the club at all - it's not laid out like any of the ones I do now, nor is it similar to any I remember from my past.

Whoa! Stop the world, I want to get off!

2011-01-26T16:04:00.002Z

A massively eventful day today - making travel news at one point!

I was driving on a main road out of Dewsbury and was turning right up towards Thornhill... whilst I waited for a gap in oncoming traffic so I could turn I received a rather large shock up my arse end! literally!

A Piaggio 125cc scooter thingy had not seen me/braked too hard/braked wrongly and had come off. His scooter had slid partway under my van bursting the spare tyre and damaging the spare wheel and carrying cage. He'd also broken the rear light and put a rather large crack in the under tray... oh and the mud flap has mysteriously disappeared but we couldn't find that anywhere!

I called 999 immediately and left the van where it was (not that I could have moved). The rider ended up laid on his side on the opposite carriageway, thus closing the entire road totally for an hour and a half causing massive tailbacks both ways.

2 Police cars and a police bike showed up within literally 2 minutes and an ambulance followed shortly after. Luckily, a member of staff at a local nursing home was first aid trained and had come to the riders rescue already.

After an hour or so, during which time I was arrested (apparently, if someone is injured in an RTA all involved parties are arrested as a matter of course) and then released without charge.

Anyhoo... I have now bought a sooty van for £100 (£75 if it's off site by noon tomorrow) and have sold it to the scrap yard up the road for... £75 - less rear lights, 1 headlight, steering wheel, 2 seats, and the spare wheel. A bargain... and when the insurance company repair it properly I will take the "temporary" parts off and store them for future use.

The guy, by the way, has a broken collar bone but is generally doing fine and will probably not need to stay in hospital. A lucky escape for him with what could have been a very nasty accident!

Update on Eve

2011-01-26T08:24:00.002Z

Just a quick post before I head off to the vets with Eve.

She's a lot better - the eye is now open most of the time and today she's had her first wander around. She's getting that "cocky" gait back in her movement and hopefully before too long will be 100%

I, however, am currently suffering with a somewhat sore shoulder. I don't know how it happened, but it started yesterday morning and just got worse and worse as the day progressed. Today, it feels much better and I will see how it fares whilst I do some work.

Finally - the Manning Mobile is virtually ready for return! - The 240V AC power system is now installed and working, although I still need to fix the socket in properly as it is currently loose. The radio aerial is now sorted too - a £5 adaptor saw to that (damn French vans and their weird non ISO aerials!)... I found the table legs too - shame is they're £18 a side!!! - might have to run that one by Guy before I leap in and buy them, but they will work perfectly for the van and I should be able to get a removable table sorted then without too much fuss.

Sadly, I can't fix the table to the side wall as the GRP interior walls have no structure to them so if I did try it would just break away and fall off within hours. I could butcher the entire window surround, but that would just make it all look messy. I might well fit a flat surface with cup holders under the window sometime in future (I've worked GRP before... it's not that difficult as long as your support structure is up to scratch). Colour matching would be an issue however...

Of poorly cats.

2011-01-23T17:40:00.002Z

Eve has ended up rather the worse for wear after what we suspect is an attack by one of the tom cats which have been stalking her during her interesting time of the month.

At the moment she is walking around very dazed and confused because she has a left eye abscess which is causing her to have poor vision. Apparently, cats don't do very well on one eye. She tends to walk into corners, and bump into things. It's really sad to see her this way, but she does seem to be improving and is now able to walk in a straight line.

On other things, the Manningmobile is virtually ready now, apart from the purchase of a power inverter which I hope to do this Wednesday when I can get over to the stockists. The speakers and lights all work (and I am NEVER taking that roof lining down ever again!).

The final job is to carpet the interior of the split panel, and then to find some table legs for the mid seat table... that final bit is proving VERY difficult!

Manning are spawning the Acoustic line-up again, and hope to do some gigs very soon - after all, have you ever tried getting an 8 piece band all free, all together, and all able to commit to a gig? - it's not easy!

Finally... the gig at The Venue in Stocksbridge, cancelled due to snow. This might well increase in size slightly and become more of a festival... I told you I wanted to run a festival again!

Happy New Year, and all that rubbish.

2011-01-02T12:04:00.003Z

We've had the financially crippling Christmas last weekend, and this weekend it was New Year.

What should be a joyous time of the year is turned into a miserable one for many because of a lack of discipline. I heard recently of a lady from Nottingham who had put this Christmas on her credit card - spending almost £2000 on presents for her two kids.

She was paying for LAST Christmas (let's assume another 2 grand) at £100 a month... now correct me if I'm wrong, but with interest at 28% she will have paid off less than £600 of LAST Christmas... all I can say is FOOL.

...and in our house we have a £60 rule.

Now onto Audiobox.fm

Audiobox was annoying me, but they seem to have finally come up trumps. The Android app is much better (but not perfect still - and it has a way to go before it is) but it's now making my audiobox usable from my phone. Woohoo!

The new Browser experience of Audiobox is itunes in a browser. It's very good and the speed issues with the old version are virtually all gone.

I'm continuing to add my tunes to it and am now through 6,800... yes I guess you could say I love music. If we were to have no TV it wouldn't bother me - but take away my music and the world would end.

Now finally - I started up a new 365 days project on flickr. A much simpler aim this time, with most pictures being cameraphone ones. I wonder if I can complete my third year?

Why I hate Apple

2010-12-17T20:47:00.003Z

You probably found this article based on the title and thought ooooh an Apple basher. Well not quite.

I don't really HATE Apple as such. They are a company with a sole aim in the marketplace - to grab a huge slice of the pie that is the personal computer market. I guess we could say they're doing OK at that. Then they enter the mobile phone market with what is essentially a rather poor phone with a slick interface. They sell it for hundreds of pounds more than other comparable phones and all the sad and irritating people suddenly jump around saying "oh look my iphone does this..."

Just fuck off already. My HTC Tytn 2 did most of that shit 3 years prior to the iphone.

That's what narks me. The blind support for Apple when in my opinion they don't deserve it.

They invent a non generic port and we end up with hundreds of speaker docks, plug in kettles, fridges and other useless iPod dock trash. Most of them poor quality it has to be said.

The media blindly follows on... Sorry Media but stop using the word "app" to refer to a piece of software designed for iphone, and what about the Android, Symbian and other OS versions?

Finally... and the thing that is really pissing me off... 2nd class citizenship.

Audiobox.fm have an atrocious app for Android yet the iphone one is all bells and whistles. They are promising a new release on Monday, but if I still get the same false starts and non playing tracks my collection is moving across to Moozone. Thank god for Dropbox

The 80's. Remember the 80's.

2010-11-28T12:25:00.001Z

80's Litter
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

I love being in buildings that for a number of years have existed in one state, and are being converted to another state.

The place I am working in at the moment is one such example.

Previously a corridor existed, a narrow corridor, with a room set at an angle at each end. When we looked at the plans we found that it was actually a corridor fitted across a room, in fact, closing off another two rooms!

The walls to the corridor were knocked out revealing what turned out to be a 12' by 14' room, with a door off to one side into a room full of files (which already had another entrance in another part of the building). Inside the walls, however, we found a treasure trove. Obviously the old room hadn't been too well cleaned before the walls had been put up in the mid 80's, and as a result we found some rather quaint litter.

The best before dates on most of these were between 1986 and 1988 although one nik naks packet did have 1990 on it.

How smartphone users see each other...

2010-11-21T14:41:00.002Z

I think this captures our opinions of each other perfectly.

I'm on Android by the way... you bunch of Blackberry owning dinosaurs!

Money Grabbing Solicitors?

2010-11-04T20:53:00.002Z

I'm the only independent witness to an accident a few years ago. It's dragged on for years and now it's ending up in the law courts.

The solicitors representing the defendant called me today and told me a court date had been set for the 24th November. I replied "sorry, that's no good - I can't make that - I have platelet donors that afternoon".

He questioned if I could move it... I replied "hmm... helping money grabbing solicitors settle a case, or giving my incredibly valuable services as a platelet making machine to the NHS to give valuable platelets to save and prolong the lives of people in need... I think I already answered that one".

The court date is now the 23rd... :-)

...of album releases, and stuff.

2010-10-22T20:21:00.003+01:00

Tonight, I sit playing around with the Android dev kit on my Ubuntu laptop. It's very nice... especially considering just 5 or so years ago I'd have paid £££ for a devkit (and indeed, did for a couple of Amiga devkits). Android really is the future - unlike Apple with it's attempt at world domination, Android is free, and the variety of devices is becoming bewildering (although there are a few turkeys out there...).

Now just to educate the world that some of us have MP3 players that aren't made by Apple... I'm sure there are more docks available for ipod and iphone than there are ipods and iphones in the world. A recent look in PC World came up with about 20 different shapes, sizes, types. Most of them rather poor quality, or with very poor sound (and far worse than a set of £20 2.1 speakers can give you).

PDMI is fitted on the Dell Streak as standard. Dell didn't make this obvious at first, but then some smart guy figured out the pin-out is the same, the forums went ooooh and aaaah, and we realised that if PDMI is adopted as a universal standard the ipod dock will seem old hat.

The PDMI cable supplied with the Streak? - I'll leave my judgement on that one to the masses, but I think the quality is poor. Mine now has surgical tape around one end to stop the cable exterior splitting any more. Carphone warehouse said it was wear and tear, but Dell promised to send me another one... it hasn't arrived as yet (they quoted 2-3 days...).

Finally, Charlestown is out next Monday. The official release is tomorrow night at The Peel, Kingston-upon-Thames (just outside London). I am looking forward to it, but I do have concerns - our drummer John has been with us just 5 weeks and I hope he can cope. The last drummer, Conor, well let's just say it didn't work out... or more to the point he didn't work.

A cat's life

2010-10-09T23:08:00.001+01:00

A cat's life
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

Not a blog post, just a very cute picture of my cat asleep. Enjoy.

October, already.

2010-10-02T23:13:00.004+01:00

QR Code
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

This year has flown. It's not been a great one, but it's been better than 2009.

Manning has gone from strength to strength (and drummer to drummer). The last drummer, well, he didn't work out. I won't go into details (that's his job if he wants to badmouth) but it didn't happen.

We're now on drummer 3 for 2010, John Kennard. So far - so good. He better bloody well had be I suppose - bearing in mind it's 3 weeks till the next gig and album release.

Today I've been playing with QR codes. The one adjacent brings you here... I may have to do more.

Finally - book of the year for me - Racing the Beam. Quite geeky, in fact, I'd say very geeky. It's about the old Atari 2600 console. If you have any interest in how we used to program games back in the 80's then get this book. It's also available on Kindle...

Through my fingers

2010-09-24T20:56:00.004+01:00

I was rather surprised to be Facebook friended by Paul Menel - he of IQ fame (well two albums anyway). Yes. That Paul Menel. He recorded with them on the studio albums Nomzamo (1986) and Are You Sitting Comfortably (1989) - and I must say, I like both albums.

Recently I've found myself wavering through a land of pop/rock and folk. Why? - well it's taken me a while to figure out, but it dawned on me earlier this week. Accessibility.

These days I find too many albums are prog for the sake of prog. They're clever. They're TOO clever... and they are INACCESSIBLE. It takes 4-5 listens to actually get any idea what's going on, and I find myself unwilling to donate my time to these inaccessible albums. They may be musically superb, but why should I have to actually think through music? can't I just put it on and slip away into another state of being whilst listening to it, without worrying about what hidden messages I might have missed? or how clever that 5/4 7/8 13/8 alternating riff is?

and that, dear prog fans, is why I am bored of Prog.

My last.fm scrobbled account doesn't lie - prog doesn't even come into it until you get into the 'teens - go there now and see for yourself.

Anyway, enough whinging about the state of Prog.

Today I passed my Part P assessment. Yay for er, Part P assessments. One minor problem - I didn't realise my calibration on my Megger is out of date (only just...) however that will be rectified early next week.

Charlestown Release Gig 23rd October 2010... the only place to get a copy before the 25th October release date.

2010-09-17T17:09:00.001+01:00

The Papal Visit

2010-09-17T15:17:00.001+01:00

The Pope is in England at the moment and I like many of my fellow countrymen do not give a flying fuck about his visit. Many of us find it insulting that the treasure laden, paedophile hiding, poverty causing Catholic church is not paying the costs of this visit. Nay, it is costing each tax payer in excess of 40p for this visit - at a time when the country is on it's knees with a sign on it's arse saying "Free Ride - Enter Here".

Who are we going to invite next? My money (all 40p) of it is on Osaka Bin-Liner.

BIG BALES

2010-09-17T13:20:00.001+01:00

Massive bales of hay in a field sorta make me realise Autumn is here.

Found on my phone

2010-09-16T20:58:00.001+01:00

Recorded using my phone when I was running Android 1.6. This is Hannah going down a steep banking down from a motte in Herefordshire.

Charlestown

2010-09-01T18:04:00.003+01:00

My life over the last few weeks has taken some strange twists and turns... mostly becoming so busy that blogging has been a low priority.

I've been to Cumbria, I've been to Herefordshire, and I've had some time away. We're now in the middle of decorating the hall, stairs and landing including some lovely new balustrading and a full new banister (nice wood one, not painted) and a new door knocked through where we used to have a wall. Our house will soon be a three bedroomed house again (like it always should have been) and the old dressing room door will be closed up shortly.

Meanwhile, I've also really been busy with Manning - not just rehearsing, but doing the centre page artwork for Charlestown - a photo montage from RoSfest and other stuff. Sadly the photo of me is not from RoSfest as I don't like any of the close ups of me from the event...

Now, on to the future.

Well in a fortnight we play Bilston supporting Crimson Sky. It was originally to be our gig, but then stuff happened which meant we would be a rather important member down for a few weeks so we had to postpone... but then I had the idea of a few of the remaining members of the band doing an Akoustik support - so an Akoustik support you're getting.

In three weeks we have been invited to play a short acoustic set for the CRS at the Montgomery Hall on their Alzheimer's charity support evening. Whilst the above issue prevents us playing as a large line-up, we will still probably be fielding 4 or 5 members for this. I'm rather looking forward to both events.

Finally... Charlestown.

I'm a lucky bugger - I'm listening to the master right now, and I must say - even though I could be seen as biased - it's sounding incredible. The mix is spot on, even for such an incredibly long and complex piece. You guys out there will lap it up I'm sure.

Now I'm about done for today, and I should be around t'internet more from this point onwards as I watch the last few weeks of hard work finally come to completion.

Myspace is shit

2010-08-15T18:19:00.003+01:00

I've not liked Myspace for while now. It's just a massive forum for people to add fake friends, and gather numbers of "followers". I could name names, but won't (the sly amongst you will know).

When I go to their Myspace (I do occasionally check...) I find they're through 30,000 "followers" whereas my own band... well... a few, but a modest number, however - when you go to last.fm where REAL people go the situation is somewhat reversed... in fact I'd go so far as to say it's almost logarithmic!

last.fm gathers (with your permission) stats on who is listening to what, and how many times, and when. I subscribe to it, as do quite a few people I know, and as such you can see some of the embarrassing contents of my music collection (and I get to see theirs). It stands to reason something gathering such information is going to tell slightly more truthful figures than something just showing you web pages and grubbing "adds", after all, how often do you see an actual realistic dialogue about the band in question in the comments section? - it's usually just "thanks for the add, please see my band play here on..."

Yep. Myspace is thoroughly shit.

Meanwhile, I'm at a bit of a crossroads with Facebook. I will be keeping my account - I have decided that now, but I'm pissed off with:

Facebooks clusterfuck of a security system.
Not friends... you know the type - people you never really liked at school, but they think everything will have magically changed.
Musicians. Yes, sorry, but I'm becoming of the opinion that far too many musicians are egocentric self promoting arseholes who are only in it for the feeling of being the centre of attention. What's up fucktards, don't you have REAL friends? just fans?... Can't you play your stuff for the pleasure of actually ENJOYING what you do, even if occasionally it actually costs you money to get your arse into a minibus and traipse half way across the country/world?
(I would like to add, in particular, one rather well known musician who preaches about piracy with one breath and then watches pirated movies on his tour bus with the next... and for a few years in the early-mid 00's went right off the boil although redeemed himself with the last album)

Modifying a Freeloader Pro

2010-08-01T19:53:00.003+01:00

Firstly... Happy Yorkshire Day peeps!

The Freeloader Pro doesn't work with the Dell Streak... it won't charge it - unless you're willing to pass on your warranty and modify the device.

Here's a step by step guide... note that this does NOT apply to the Freeloader standard which at present will NOT charge the Streak.

Open up the main part of the Freeloader Pro using a PH1 screwdriver. There are four screws around the charge indicator ring - keep these safe.
Click off the cover to the charger - taking care around the solar panel. You should be able to get it off without any tools.
Inside is the solar panel, battery underneath, and the PCB with the four plastic lenses for the charging ring. On the PCB are three screws. Remove these and keep them safe.
Unplug the battery connector from the PCB (it's a little white connector with a red and black wire on it). Gently lift the PCB out being careful to avoid damaging the battery and solar panel wires. You need to twist it over, whilst keeping it in place to avoid damaging the solar panel wires.
On the back of the USB plug you will see four prongs. The outer two are soldered to the PCB and the inner to go nowhere. Using a soldering iron and some solder bridge the gap between these inner two tangs, being careful not to damage the nearby capacitor (the blue cylindrical thing) and being careful not to short across any more than you need to.
Once it's cooled, loosely re-assemble the PCB back into place and re-connect the battery. Check that none of the indicator lights come on, and then press the centre button to check the indicator lights work (they will show your battery charge amount).
Carefully insert the USB charge cable from your Streak into the USB socket and connect the other end to the Streak - if you've done it right the red lights on the freeloader Pro should come on, and your Streak should show a lightning bolt charge symbol.
Re-assemble carefully and enjoy!

My initial tests show that with a three lights charge in the Freeloader you'll get at least 40% from totally empty in the Streak... I reckon it could go as high as 70-80% from a full Freeloader charge.

When England comes first.

2010-07-31T15:55:00.002+01:00

I was surprised to find today that the USA still don't have the Dell Streak and that the yanks are running up quite a buzz for the device. Understandable, really, as it is a fantastic piece of kit.

Whilst it amuses me to think that for a change the Americans come second when a new release comes around (they had the Wii, DS, DSi, and many other things first) but it also does make me realise just how big a market the USA is.

I would like a dock for it (I had one for my Ameo and it was wonderful), but sadly at the present the only option is the official Dell product. I'd also like a second charger... again... only the standard Dell product. As you can imagine these are rather expensive and non standard. Also, Dell aren't rushing with a Froyo update so we're stuck on Android 1.6

After a few weeks living with the device what are my thoughts?

The good

It does everything! - A good browser, good camera, good phone to use, Android OS.

The Bad

Dell accessories are too expensive
No third party accessories (yet)
The camera flash is not great
It's a bit "crashy" still, but BIOS updates and Android updates will sort that.

Sliding along...

2010-07-25T17:31:00.003+01:00

When I first signed up for MySpace I decided I'd only add friends at first, but then relaxed the rules somewhat and allowed anyone who added me. D'oh. I'm still on MySpace, but don't really use it any more.

Then a new fangled thing came along called Facebook... and the same happened again. All good intentions, and I ended up just adding anyone... then every couple of months I have a massive prune and get rid of loads of people I have lots in common with but don't really know.

Now I'm tweeting... but this time with the combination of Twitter and Facebook I think I've got it right. Facebook is for people who sort of know me. Twitter is for people who I know personally or am good friends with because of something we share a close common interest in... it seems to work for me anyway. I have 400+ facebook friends and about 30 or so Twitter friends and I don't lose track of who is who.

Now onto quote of the day - from David Boreanaz of Bones, Buffy & Angel fame... "I fucking love leather pants". Right on brother! - I concur.

Lego Buzz Lightyear

2010-07-18T11:35:00.003+01:00

I am regularly unimpressed by service in various shops, particularly the larger branches, however today's display in WHSmith was stunningly bad but they did rectify it fairly sharpish when I complained.

I went down for WHSmith opening to get a card and magazine, got there 15 minutes early so sat reading on my Kindle Reader (Treasure Island... arrrrr)... only to watch a massive queue materialise on the other side of the doors.

When the doors opened I walked in, ignoring the massive queue (and dirty looks by said massive queuers who obviously hadn't noticed I'd been sat there for the best part of 15 minutes - long before any of them appeared) and went to the cards. The queue filed in, went straight to the checkout, and proceeded to collect Lego items. I'm not sure which paper is giving them away free, but they were Lego Buzz Lightyear figures.

"I'm not queueing with them bloody freeloaders" I thought - spending 40p on a paper they don't really want to get a lego figurine. Especially since I wasn't the only one showing despair at the fact that our normally quiet Sunday Morning saunter to WHSmith had turned into a badly planned farce.

What was worse - the back checkouts were closed, and a sign on them said "book orders only"... I had a plan!

I went to the book orders checkout, pressed the button, and out came the shift manager.

I said "I'd like to order a book please".
She said "what book is that then?"
Me "How to manage newspaper promotions correctly"
She said "whose it by?"
I said "well obviously not the person who thought closing this counter was a good idea when 200+ people wanted a Lego figurine yet regular customers were going to Morrisons for their papers and magazines rather than face a 25 minute queue"

... she opened the counter to other sales only... and the titters of the people who also bought their non-lego purchases there was rather amusing.

Oooooh a new phone!

2010-07-16T21:09:00.003+01:00

I got a new phone this week... OK... well... a huge slab of a device, but what a device.

It's a Dell Streak, which is a mother of a 5" screen yielding slab of technology - packed to the brim with goodies including a 5 megapixel camera with LED flash, HDMI output, and to top it all nicely it's running Android.

Yes, I know it's only Android 1.6 at present, but Dell promise an update sometime in August to 2.2 Froyo which backed up with the snapdragon 1 gig processor should make for some silky smooth apps.

Of course, I could have followed the lemmings down the iphone path, but then I'd be looking for phoneboxes all the time to make calls... although I did read a good selection of jokes via Twitter t'uther day...

Apple: 0.55% of users have called about reception problems, the other 99.45% dropped the call.
Two iPhones got married. It was a lovely ceremony, but the reception was awful. Apparently they held it in the wrong place.

and that, as they say, is your lot.

Now I'll stick with Android, thank you very much - because after all... Android phones are for porn.

Musicians playing Band Hero

2010-07-09T22:04:00.002+01:00

Appropriate attire for Band Hero?
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

Something rather unusual happened recently...

I tried Band Hero for the first time ever at a friends house. As you know, I'm a bass guitarist and so I chose bass as my instrument, naturally, of course.

How did I fare though?

I was shite... but why?

Well as a bassist I can tell you that the guitar firstly is too short thus meaning you're playing everything at around the 12th fret if it was a real bass. At which point the rocking "string" switch is dreadful... you can't play it finger style properly as it centres too slowly thus forcing you to rock it with your thumb. Awful.

Finally... FIVE BLOODY NOTES?!! - Sorry but that does not accurately represent a real bass. Mine has that many strings, and each string has 26 frets. Do the sums - that's over 125 individual frettable positions (although B and E above fret 15ish are a bit pointless)... counting it as notes that's almost three octaves of range from low B to high A - or almost 36 individual notes.

Yes, 5 frets does not accurately represent a bass guitar.

Finally... why do people who are really "good" at Guitar hero then think they are good musicians? It's a bit like air guitarists saying they are good at real guitar. It's not right. I'll stick to my real Warwick Thumb thanks...

Now how do I play House on the Hill? Orange Blue Blue Blue Green Blue Red...

Finally, as I write this - Raeioul Moat is currently holed up in Rothbury and is perched on the river bank... what will his end be? - Shot? Suicide? Taser? I don't know, but I bet it'll be on Liveleak before too long.

5 reasons to buy a Nintendo DSi

2010-07-03T17:16:00.003+01:00

At first the DSi didn't excite me in any way. I had a DS and I was happy with it, but I then saw something that made me realise the DSi was for me...

1: The Cameras - 0.3 megapixel (read VGA). They're OK, I suppose, but the included photography and gallery software is really good and some of the effects are worth it alone.

2: MP3 playing - a load of old bollocks... the DSi cannot play MP3's BUT... it can play M4A files which are readily downloaded from itunes, and you can convert your MP3's into M4A's rather quickly using Sound Convertor (available from the Ubuntu Software Centre).

3: DSiWare - there's a lot of crap, but I must say STARSHIP PATROL is the most awesome game ever!

4: A Browser - don't expect too much and it will deliver. It's better to browse the mobile version of sites, although it can cope with bigger sites. No flash though, but then again neither has the ipad!

5: Flipnotes - Animated flipbooks... a great time killer - and with Flipnote Hatena for sharing them it's superb. Some DSi owners are really creative too!

Yup. Get a DSi. They're good... or even wait for the 3DS (although I will probably keep my DSi too).

------ take that... SONY!

World bloody Cup

2010-06-30T14:35:00.004+01:00

I've had enough of the World bloody Cup already. That's World bloody Cup as in the same way Simon Git Cowell and Jeremy Tosser Clarkson are what they are.

It's not funny, and the sodding vuvuzelas are irritating beyond belief. It sounds like a swarm of demented wasps are about to attack... but... we're out of it, so at least the bloody thing has sort of slipped into the background and brought Wimbledon to the foreground... and Andy Pissing Murray, the sour faced Scot is now grimacing his way through the tournament.

Yes can't you tell... I hate sport, and I'm turning into a whinging old fart.

On a happier note, after doing some seriously bad shit to my neck (damage to nerve C5) I now have news to report that the pain is diminishing somewhat and mobility is returning. All thanks to some good physio and a daily dose of amitryptaline.

Finally, Charlestown - the epic - is all recorded now and is virtually there mix wise and sounding stonkingly good. I can't wait to see the cover artwork now and start re-skinning the website ready for it's release.

...oh and we have a pool... but more on that later.

Midsummer

2010-06-21T15:34:00.002+01:00

Don't drink & drive.
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

Happy Midsummer people of the internet!

Now a little update on what has happened to me since my last blog, after all, it has been a major chaotic week!

Well you heard about the court case (guy faking certificates gets caught and imprisoned) but now for my other stuff...

On Friday I was electrocuted due to someone else's idiocy, I mean, who wires a ring main to 2 circuit breakers? Seriously?

but the big event was Saturday - as the photo shows. Whilst driving along Wash Lane, the Dalton end, I was tailgated very closely by an idiot in a Corsa. Even though my car (MX5) was more powerful, I thought I would rather not have this prick behind me and so slowed down to give him easy chance of overtaking as soon as the central barrier ended. He did overtake me - dangerously - making a driver coming the other way swerve.

At that point I noticed the police cars bearing down on me with great speed. I pulled over... obviously, Corsa boy was a wanted man and I wasn't going to get in the way of them catching him.

I then continued along Wash Lane to where it becomes Aldwarke Road - only to find a police car blocking the road totally - the officer inside had just pulled up and was getting out to close the road. He then flagged me and the car in front (a yellow Fiat Stilo) into the side, asked us to wait a few minutes, and proceeded to put a road closed and accident sign out behind our cars.

It turned out idiot boy had cut the corner on the bend under the twin bridges near the Station Hotel and hit another vehicle head on. Apparently, we were the last two witnesses who could say what his driving was like immediately before the incident as the video car hadn't caught it on tape having lost ground on the car just before it happened.

I still haven't heard of the conditions of the other people in the blue Fiat the idiot hit, but the paramedic did reassure us that their injuries weren't life threatening. I'm now watching with bated breath as the local papers come out - I sent this picture in to the Advertiser.

Remember the CRS Acoustic Sessions?

2010-06-15T09:56:00.006+01:00

I was looking back at a little project I attempted, and somewhat succeeded at a few years ago.

Technology wasn't as good as it is today, and my equipment at the time certainly wasn't the best hi-tech equipment you could use. My few good microphones were filled out with a hell of a lot of cheap poor quality microphones (including some MAPLIN ones!), but listening back - I did well. Is it right to pat myself on the back?

It all started when a gig fell through just a couple of weeks before... I said to Martin Hudson "why don't we do an acoustic gig?"... and we could record it?

Yes. I set myself a task with that one - and to this day, I can't rightly remember how I did it - but I did and I managed to make it sound good, putting a PA and recording system into a venue, having no soundchecks except the live ones, and getting through 5 artistes whilst monitoring levels, recording levels, etc.... and then MIXING IT!

Anyway, Lambsie (now from the CRS but back then just a member) commented and reviewed it. Yes, I didn't play a note, but I am proud and it did well for the CRS.

(20 July 2003) The CRS Acoustic Sessions (CRS (UK) Hudrok002CD, 2003) was recorded at the Herringthorpe Leisure Centre, Rotherham on January 18, 2003 and features selections by Karnataka, Sleeping Giant, Miv Cameron Band, Gina Dootson and Tommy Binks. This is the first time The Classic Rock Society have mounted an all-acoustic evening, and the resulting CD is a well-recorded and -packaged affair, with design by Oliver Wakeman.
The contributors are largely regular visitors to the CRS stage, however the first two tracks are by young Rotherham singer-songwriter Tommy Binks. "Eskillater" and "Janet" are both direct and humorous, strongly influenced (to my ears) by post-punk troubadour Billy Bragg, and steeped in the quirks of ordinary living. He seems talented.
Gina Dootson is next up, and her contributions are somewhat more intense. The artist is well known to our visitors, she has an excellent voice, in the US folk style, and her songwriting is tuneful and perceptive. "Wrapped" has an excellent hook, and some frantic guitar playing from Gina, while "Crippled" is an haunting, slower piece. "Slide" is her last contribution, its repetitive hook building into a thunderous climax with her voice at full power. On the evidence of these three songs she sounds like a terrific prospect.
The Miv Cameron band, bring slightly more diverse instrumentation to their performance. Several guitars, some lovely vocal harmonies, and atmospheric keyboards give more weight to these gentle folk songs in a traditional vein. "I love you" and "The Empty Seat" are good examples, while"Kieran" adds some well-chosen whistles into the mix. Miv herself has a good, though unremarkable, voice.
Sleeping Giant are also well known to Musical Discoveries, so it would be interesting to hear what a full, acoustic band performance could do with their songs. In fact, the arrangements here are largely restrained versions of their electric counterparts, with Leon Parr’s drums replaced by conga’s and percussion, Dave Foster on acoustic guitar, Simon Crumley remaining electric on bass, and James Rimmer confining himself to piano. "When your best is never good enough" from the Primates mini-album is a good choice, with Charlotte Evans only slightly more restrained than normal, while "Nothing More," from the "Embers" EP is a delight, with its lovely piano figure to the fore and Charlotte in fine voice. "December Moon" also works well, and actually manages to "soar" in the same way the electric version does.
Sleeping Giant offer faithful versions of songs without much rearrangement. However, Karnataka, performing as a three piece of Rachel Jones on vocals, Ian Jones on guitar and Jonathan Edwards on keyboards do something entirely different, presenting completely stripped down versions with an entirely different feel. "Must be the Devil" with Jonathan’s "Doors" like keyboard runs, is positively moody, with Rachel singing much more gently than she is normally able to do live. "Strange Behaviour" is a fairly straightforward version of the song as it must have been as it was written, with very subtle keyboard textures just hinting at its electric arrangement. "There Must be a Way" from their first album, is not performed live in an electric arrangement now, but the gentle version here is the album highlight, with Jonathan's piano part absolutely perfectly arranged. Finally, "Crazy," again, takes on a whole new life as another brooding acoustic piece.
Martin Hudson and the CRS should be congratulated for an excellent recording of what sounded like a memorable event. Each of the artists represented did themselves proud – and Karnataka fans will want this for the version of "There Must be a Way" on its own!--Stephen Lambe

Sadly, Acoustic Sessions 2 didn't work... another sound engineer who was doing the sound for Dave Cousins and Toby Horton came in, ignored my demands about not changing GAIN settings on the desk, and blew a lot of the recording right off the tops of the meters... a massive mess of digital distortion.

The rest of the set was OK, but then without a headliner recording it wasn't really worth progressing. Sadly technology moved on, I sold the desk, and the hard disks were retained for future use but didn't survive too well in storage and became corrupted... both sessions were lost and the CD's of this set are now all that survive.

The end of the Acoustic Sessions 1 and 2.

The lights of Antares?

2010-06-11T14:23:00.002+01:00

The lights of Antares?
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

... Manning song reference found in Maplin.

Meanwhile... whilst at the customers' I was doing the work for I experienced something absolutely disgusting...

A pikey dole waller from the Job Centre nearby deemed it as decent human behaviour to do a SHIT at the top of their steps just outside the fire exit, and then wipe his arse with a paper bag.

... straight in front of a CCTV camera ... at one point he is virtually facing the camera and the image is lovely and clear.

Obviously this piece of scum doesn't know that not all cameras actually look like cameras and those dome shaped things are also cameras.

The police have, nonetheless, been called about it and passed CCTV footage and Streetforce have been and cleaned and sterilised the area.

Mobile Phones... a lesson to learn

2010-06-09T12:17:00.004+01:00

Today I had to pop into the Orange shop. My HTC Diamond has a little charging problem (the USB port is working loose and it's going erratic). Apparently, I may end up with a different phone as they no longer have Diamonds in stock.

Anyway, whilst I was in there I overheard a conversation I've heard on numerous occasions...

Woman: "I was just using it and the screen cracked... then it went all the way down and went multi coloured"

Orange Staff Member: "Is it insured?"

Woman: "No, but I didn't drop it. It's never been dropped"

Me (under my breath - coughed): "Bollocks"

It seems every time I have to go into a mobile phone shop, be it Carphone Warehouse (DO NOT USE - ABYSMAL), T-Mobile (not bad) or Orange (rather good actually) I hear someone in there explaining that their phone just "broke whilst I was using it".

C'mon, idiots - it's a thing you carry with you at all times. It gets thrown in bags, pockets, sat on, squashed, left on the kitchen side, possibly accidently run through the washing machine, thrown on the seat in the car... it's bound to get some abuse.

LCD Screens don't just break. You have to put some serious pressure on them to get that almighty crack and liquid crystal rainbow... I know, I've broke a few on my work phones due to the really serious abuse they get - but then I've always insured my devices.

You tie yourself up to a 2 year £30 a month contract for that latest shiny smartphone then won't spend the extra £6 a month for all inclusive cover.

It's not that the human race is thick... but I do despair that a large percentage show less intelligence than they have.
On a slightly lighter note... I'm sat on Brightside Lane in Sheffield watching the automatic 30 sign flash every time a car goes past... yep... you guessed it... I'm in a white van, my camera is with me... and 2 flashes in a row from my camera as speeders go past is causing me great amusement!

Building Demolition Epic Fail

2010-06-08T13:59:00.001+01:00

Building Demolition Epic Fail
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

I went past this building on Penistone Road this weekend and noticed the contractors had started chipping away at the lower levels taking out the exterior walls ready to collapse it.

Today... well I think the building made up it's own mind to collapse and fell hitting the unit next door.

Oops.

Contractor epic fail!

Push Button Publishing

2010-06-06T19:34:00.012+01:00

I love blogger.

I used to blog on Livejournal, but that went crap... you couldn't customise your layout enough, and they reduced what free users could do.

I tried tumblr, but all the blogs looked the same, and you couldn't edit the raw HTML of the post in the same way.

I've been on blogger now for a few years - and I also like it's policies... you can say what you like and you're not moderated (much). You're not answerable to some administrator who threatens to delete your blog if you say something they don't like... and you self moderate.

The problem is - when you get a twat on your blog it's very difficult to delete them - as I recently had on the Manning blog (also run through my Blogger account)... why they seem to think we need links to Thai Prostitutes is beyond me... ? - and why they think it's relevant to an article about Volcanic Ash is even more beyond me (unless of course the ash forced our plane to divert via Thailand and we felt like getting a cheap shag from some AIDS riddled Syphilitic crack whore... (who happens to look slightly more appealing than the stereotypical English bad prossie).

Anyhow, I went through, deleted loads, and turned on Captcha to hopefully stop their robot doing it again - it seems to have worked on my blog so far...

Hello! Don't come in. Just go away and disappear.

2010-06-06T15:39:00.005+01:00

Have you ever had that feeling that you're really not welcome somewhere?

I somewhere very recently where I previously had a lot of involvement, and I was given the cold shoulder... in fact I'd go as far as to say I was shunned.

Is it a case of I know too much, or just they really don't like me, or just pure jealousy?

I don't know... and I actually don't care, but just a simple "please don't darken our hall again" would be nice because then I'd know where I stand.

Dr. Who goes old skool.

2010-06-04T22:58:00.001+01:00

Am I the only person who thinks the last episodes of Doctor Who were a little hark to the old Dr Who series?

Please, admit your waist size.

2010-06-03T09:33:00.006+01:00

It's a known fact that a whole three quarters of British men buy the wrong size trousers.

It's also a fact that British clothing retailers also stock the sizes people buy - after all, it's poor sense not to.

As an observant person, I observe, and sometimes I shudder at what people do because they don't want to stick their hand up and say "yes I've put on weight" like our rather stock photo type guy at right.

I'm not small, I admit I have a belly, but I'm also rather well built and have trouble getting "my size" of jeans over my thighs. Yeah, I should have been a rugby player - and indeed at School was rather better than you'd imagine at the game. I am usually in the loose category of 38"-40" waist (occasionally 42" but that's if the sizes are teeny - Burtons... take note) and in leather jeans - I just try them on as most sizing is "yeah, we think it's a 38" so we'll put a 34" tag on there.

Today, though, I saw something that made me feel nauseous... big guy, low waistline, a size too small. I won't go into too much depth, but I imagine you are retching too... the fact he had his shirt tucked in just made it look like a chefs hat full of fruit wrapped up with an elastic band. Not good.

... so, can we, the writer and readers of this blog make a vow to admit to ourselves that we are a bit porkier than we'd like to admit, and either shrink back into our 34" waist trousers or but the right bloody size?

You never visit what's near you.

2010-05-31T17:26:00.004+01:00

It's always the truth that you never visit or appreciate what's nearby. Take Bolsover Castle for example - just off Junction 29A of the M1 and less than half an hour's drive away - and I've never been.

Well I have now - as we met up with Hannah's parents and enjoyed a day at the castle. Not quite a Mediaeval castle - more mock Mediaeval rich man's playhouse, but still impressive.

I'm rather impressed with my cupola picture...

The other visitors were rather bemused by a bloke in a black shirt and leather trousers laying on the floor, sticking a camera up in the air, and taking photos of the ceiling, or the same bloke setting up a camera on "The Pod" and taking a self portrait of himself sitting on some old steps... which gets me onto...

TOURISTS. Why do they insist on spoiling your shot by walking straight across, dreaming, in a world of their own... and in the case of the annoying kid (deleted from the top shot thanks to The Gimp and a second shot without me in the frame) who kept sticking his head into frame just as the self timer pips doubled in speed indicating the last 2 seconds...?

I suppose they's day PHOTOGRAPHERS... just why do they lay on the floor and take photos at strange angles?

RoSfest... a month on.

2010-05-30T13:18:00.006+01:00

It's hard to believe it's almost a month since we played RoSfest. The time since has flown, and the number of new fans we've picked up is rather good.

In all it was a superb experience, with it's high and low points throughout the long and arduous journey to the festival.

It was about 16th June 2009 when the email came into me. We had to keep it quiet as contracts hadn't been exchanged, but we'd been offered the festival slot on Saturday - a 2pm slot so not too shabby!

Have you ever tried keeping massively important news quiet for 6 weeks when other bands around you are announcing their festival plans? - it's not easy, but we did it.

On August 1st it was announced - Manning were playing RoSfest... and the bitterness and backbiting started. A certain member of a certain band told a very good friend of mine (who the certain band member wasn't aware was a good friend of mine) "they're only getting RoSfest because Kris is in the CRS". Well, actually, by that point I'd quit the CRS so a rethink on the bitchy and jealous comments would be in order?

Generally we had a lot of support - and a lot of worries as many things had yet to be done including a trip to London to get our Visas sorted (P1 visas for bands visiting the USA - nothing less will do)... and changes within the band after Cambridge meant we'd be looking for a new keyboard player and guitar player.

So in October along comes the god of guitar himself, Chris Catling... he loves the music and boy can he shred that piece of wood!. We auditioned quite a few to get him - including the mandatory "I haven't read the advert" people who thought we were making loads of money at it.

Keyboard players are harder to find, but eventually after a couple of false starts and some time wasters we found Tim.

Phew - problems one and two solved. Now for problem three - visas. Now we were told that you couldn't get a visa if you had a criminal record, and I was told that having a court date pending could cause problems too. Thanks to those lovely people at South Yorkshire Police I had a court date pending... they said I was using my mobile phone whilst driving, and I wasn't (and was eventually found not guilty, but that's another story).

Thankfully - honesty on my application paid off and on the London visit to take our passports in and get our visas the words "I'm pleased to tell you your application has been accepted" were wonderful (although then having to sort out a flute player for whom the form was even more bewildering than it was for me - not so good)... and the chemists round the corner? well £30 odd for computer access is criminal!

April arrived and the build up was good... we did a full day rehearsal just before and felt great about it. We were ready.

Now onto the festival - and judging by the photos you'll see we had fun (you can read about each day further back in my blog).

6 photos above (C)esa@aloha.net

(C)musicinwidescreen.com (Mark Montforti)

(C)Stephanie Sollow

(C)Mike Flavin

A big thanks to everyone for sharing their photos with us - it's great when you're onstage knowing there are plenty of photographers offstage to capture your every move.

Now onto video - not quite so good here - just a single video found so far, and the quality is rather "webcam" but I thought I'd share it anyway

From RoSfest Saturday (Hi Res)

The Twelfth Night of Eurovision

2010-05-29T23:07:00.006+01:00

How the hell do you combine two titles?

Anyway... first onto Twelfth Night at the Montgomery Hall (a CRS gig). Yeah, it was OK - what I saw - but the sound was dreadful. The mix was all middley, and vocals were poorly defined. I didn't linger for too long as my poor ears are still suffering slightly from RoSfest (planes... damn pressure changes) and the tail end of the infection from last year which is still rearing it's ugly head from time to time.

Meanwhile... just HOW did that guitarist get into his leather trousers, and more to the point... did we REALLY need to see the outline of his winkie?

No, really. No. Please - go for something looser fitting next time. It's embarrassing.

Onto Eurovision. I love watching the voting on Eurovision. I don't watch the songs because they're detritus - but it's amusing to see how the politics and tactical voting is going, and to see Greece and Cyprus give each other 12 points - oh what would we do without that annual event?

Germany won with a rather forgettable pop number, but at least Spain got a stage invasion (highlight of the evening I'm sure).

David Schneider said Germany etc have had to bail out the Greek entry to the tune of 350 notes

Jonerlanc said why isn't vatican city performing? i hear the pope does a cracking rendition of 'danny boy'

At least we take it as a massive joke and don't actually use it as a judgement of our music, and coming last place it seems the rest of Europe thinks Pete Waterman's songs are shit. At least we can agree on something.

Broccoli Float Soup

2010-05-26T18:28:00.003+01:00

I made this today. It's a summery soup, with the thickness and texture of a winter soup... so the best of both worlds in one then!

2 medium sized carrots
2 medium sized potatoes
A nice sized head of broccoli
1 white onion
1 bunch spring onions (about 10)
4 cloves garlic
Ground Ginger
Caraway Seeds
Ground chilli seeds
White Pepper
Salt
A veggie OXO cube

Chop the carrots and potatoes finely, cut the broccoli into little trees about the size of a thumbnail.

Fry the onions and garlic in a saucepan with a little vegetable oil until they go brown and transparent. Meanwhile, crush about a teaspoon of chilli seeds as much as you possibly can (pestle and mortar if you have one).

Once the onions are browned pull the pan off the heat and leave a minute - then add a good heaped teaspoon of caraway seeds, the potato, carrot and about 2 pints of water (add the water last to prevent spitting). Return to the heat and add the oxo cube and chilli sees (I suppose you could use chicken stock if you're not a veggie, but the thought of that scares me).

Return to the heat and simmer for about 10 minutes.

Put the broccoli in a pan with a pinch of salt and once the potatoes in the main pan go soft turn on the heat to the broccoli.

Smush up the stuff in the main pan using a hand blender until no lumps remain. Taste and keep adding ground ginger and stirring in until it gives you a warm sensation at the back of your throat. Add a little pepper and salt to season. Thicken using SMASH if required (add the SMASH directly to the pan and stir in).

Once the broccoli is starting to soften, drain and add to the main pan. Give it a couple of minutes on the ring, taste, season, and serve.

The studio moles...

2010-05-23T09:05:00.003+01:00

Yesterday Guy and I spent an inconceivable percentage (see Kris Hudson-Lee's Long Words Dictionary) of yesterday cooped up in the studio recording the basslines for Charlestown (the title track) and Clocks, thus wrapping up my part of the Charlestown epic. Yes it was hard work - after all Charlestown is 35 minutes long and Clocks is played on the upright, but boy do they sound nice and the hard work has paid off.

After tea (lovingly prepared by Julie) I decided to pop down to the Wesley Centre and catch the tail end of the Jump gig down there. I must say Jump have always amazed me... how such a unique band with such a charismatic vocalist don't play in front of many more people and do some decent festival supports I don't know... there are some bands (who I won't name) who seem to get all the festival slots and actually... don't deserve them.

Finally, Manning has a new drummer as you probably know - the incredibly young Conor - who looks like you want to ID him to serve him beer, and yet drums like he's been doing it for years. I'm sure he'll fit into the band very soon... Tim, after all, only joined late last year and is already taking root (although the drum stool incident probably broke some of those roots).

The state of the music industry

2010-05-17T08:36:00.002+01:00

The music "industry" is fucked. Plain & Simple.

Music, however... isn't.

In this time of MP3 self important twats like Simon Cowell must be shitting kidneys at the thought that his already massive pot of shekels could soon be shrinking somewhat.

Once upon a time people like him used to make or break a band. You had to have a label because you couldn't get a record out otherwise, and if you weren't quite to their liking you didn't get the deal. If you did get the deal it was in the order of 5% of 5% of 5% and people like this man <- made loads of money off your back for very little work.

Now the problem is... they still behave like this. To quote a rather stunning artist played on Radio 2 rather a lot recently "I went to xxxxxxxx record label and they said they weren't signing anyone unless they came in through a talent show such as X-Factor". xxxxxxxx was a bloody big label!

She decided to go it alone and now charts regularly. You can probably guess who it is...

Many other bands have done it without the label - The Arctic Monkeys rather famously being the first go-it-alone band who charted and started playing arenas, yet had no label. The internet is a powerful tool... record label bosses? they're just tools.

Now onto other things... Ronnie James Dio... the man - the legend. Without this man millions of rock fans would not be making the devils horns symbol at gigs, nor would we be listening to such epics as Holy Diver... and his time with Rainbow and Black Sabbath was unforgettable.

The problem is... the BBC don't seem to get this.

When Michael Jackson died, it was headline news... it was headline news for far too long... because he was the "king of pop", apparently.

RJD dies... it's shovelled in a corner of their website.

Jade Goody sadly dies (oh the irony) of ugliness (which, apparently, is fatal if not treated with a smack in the gob) and oh dear - the papers go mad, because, oh if only Diana and Jade were still here... they'd make it right. Oh for fucks sake, she was a leeching, racist, self promoting chav of the highest order... we wouldn't mourn if four chavs were killed in a Citroen Saxo VTR roll-over accident we'd call it NATURAL SELECTION.

Anyway, enough ranting, because I rant too much - apparently.

Instead - why not bask in the glow of Holy Diver and think of Ronnie James Dio.

Ronnie... WE SALUTE YOU!

Party Politics...

2010-05-10T14:15:00.003+01:00

So the Labour party didn't win the election - and I can hardly say I'm surprised. Dithering Gordon Brown has pushed them off course and they're heading rapidly back into left wing unelectable territory in my opinion, however, they are the lesser of two evils.

Cameron's tories are just despicable beyond all belief... Etonian toffs ensuring jobs for the boys and making sure their mates all do well and the rest of us can manage with what we're given and enjoy it - frankly, I can't believe people believed their twaddle.

The Lib Dems under Nick Clegg seemed like a breath of fresh air. I liked their policies, although the immigration amnesty did scare me somewhat... so for the first time in my life my vote went yellow (although I still voted Labour in the local elections).

Now the problem is, I'm regretting it. Clegg is cosying up with Cameron and I don't like that one bit. If a Tory-Lib Dem coalition government happens then my next vote will be swinging back to Labour. It seems a Lib Dem vote is an underhand Tory vote at present and it makes me feel dirty and used...

At least the Racist BNP and Fascist UKIP didn't get any seats, although perhaps a couple would have stirred a good hornets nest and made the news worth watching for a change.

Coming home

2010-05-06T19:44:00.003+01:00

Well after the festival, as you can imagine, we were pretty much a centre of attention. Invites to room parties followed, many autographs were signed, and we felt rather good about it.

Yes, I would love to do it again - and I'm sure we will sometime soon...

The journey home went fairly hitch-less, apart from having to kill time in the airport at Dulles due to us being dropped there at 11am (our flight wasn't until 6:30pm). Thankfully - Dulles isn't actually too bad as airports go and I managed to find laptop power and play a little Open Transport Tycoon.

A slight scary moment occurred as we found, whilst sat at the bar in the airport, that airspace over Ireland was closed... but apart from a slight diversion south of the Republic it didn't affect us too much.

Anyhow, I walked into the house at about 1pm on Tuesday... jet lagged, tired, and rather groggy feeling... and I slept.

Looking back on it all it was worth it - 18 hours of flying for an hour and a half of gig... yes. It was.

Anyway it's back to normality now and time to focus on completing basslines for Charlestown.

The Gig... oh yes, the gig.

2010-05-02T13:50:00.004+01:00

I'm sitting at the laptop in the hotel room, it's about 10 to nine and I'm feeling like, well, the beer monkeys have shit in my mouth and stolen all my money... but I feel so good.

The gig yesterday was absolutely amazing - I will go as far as to say, well, the best gig I've ever played in my life. Bar none. I just wish my family could have been here... and I'm really missing them now. I've been able to Skype with Hannah but the volume level is awful and the picture keeps breaking up or dropping connection - but it's nice to have this facility. Just 3 or 4 years ago none of this VOIP calling would have happened this way.

I'm not far away from breakfast, although Steve and Chris are both still in bed so I apologise if the clicking of the keyboard wakes them.

The gig we played was:

A Strange Place (from The Cure)
The Dream (from A Matter of Life and Death)
Antares (from Bilston)
Ships (from Number Ten)
Silent Man (from AMOLAD)
TIC (from Charlestown - unreleased as yet)
Holy Ireland (from Tall Stories)
The View from my Window (from the eponymous album)
The House on the Hill (from Ten)

Encores were

The Fall & Rise of Abel Mann - In My Life (from Tall Stories)
Lost in Play (from Bilston)

Should I list high points and low points? - well... yes I will...

Low points (let's get the not happy bits out of the way first)

I was hot, sweaty, and made a couple of mistakes I'm not proud of - including a belter in Lost in Play.
The tiredness fell upon me immediately after the gig and I had to go back to the hotel for a sleep, thus missing the rest of the day.

The High Points

House on the Hill rocked!!!
The set rocked!!!!!
We Rocked!!!!!!!
... and Tim falling off his piano stool half way through Ships... yes, Tim truly rocked!
being invited back to room parties last night and filled with beer at no cost to us was great and I'd love to thank the guys over in 254 for entertaining us (or did we entertain them?)
The Acoustic Session last night which was so much fun, even if we couldn't hear each other and Julie had to sing the words because Guy's voice gave in after the main set... Julie did stunningly even though she hasn't sung lead in over 20 years.
Getting to play Comfortably Numb as part of the jam session

Right, that's enough from me - I'm going for breakfast and a dip in the pool and then will head into Gettysburg. I'm getting a few little presents for my family today, and will probably catch some of the bands - although my hearing feels a little sketchy so loud noises will not be the order of the day.

Cya...

Kris in Gettysburg

The post you've been waiting for!

2010-04-30T21:48:00.007+01:00

It's not often I use exclamation marks. I hate them - after all, if you can't structure an exciting enough sentence without the use of this assault on the English language then you shouldn't be using any punctuation at all. Today's post does warrant just a single mark, so a single mark you're getting.

RoSfest.

Yes. For the first time in my life I am in the USofA typing whilst I sit at a rather nice desk in the hotel room

Skype has failed me as Hannah can't seem to contact me - she briefly appeared, and then disappeared - so I assume it's just a load of cack, however, here is the first couple of days' adventures in the USA told in a style as approved and created by ME.

Day 1...

4:00am rise - and I certainly wasn't built to get up at that time. I awoke, bleary eyed in Guy's lounge after having spent the night on a futon listening to the gas fire pilot light hissing and Dave Albone snoring (not too loudly - I will save him that embarrassment). I did watch Avatar the night before, which I will say is rather good - even if the plot is so formulaeic it's scary.

5:00am - after toast, we were collected by the taxi. The Roller Coaster taxi. The ride was uppy-downy-lefty-righty. Yes, you probably know what I mean. Vomit was not forthcoming thankfully.

From then on the day was rather blurred all into one, but two flights - first to Heathrow and then on from there to Washington Dulles. Both went very well with very little turbulence and not much in the way of delays - and I must say I was thoroughly impressed with Virgin Atlantic. The meal was edible - nay delicious - and the cabin service was great.

US Immigration went without a hitch although the queue was rather epic - on an Alton Towers scale of epic.

Collection from the airport and delivery to the hotel was great - the van sent for us was huge, comfy, air conditioned, and just looked so rock and roll with the load lugger attached to the back.

Once at the hotel, check in was reasonably swift - and the bar was reasonably well stocked... although I must say the vegetarian choice of food is rather poor but I did manage to get a pizza.

The almighty quest for internet did prove fruitful in the end with the $25 deposit duly paid to loan a CAT5 cable - the WIFI in our block, the Eisenhower 2, wasn't working.

Anyway, here I sit now, typing this. We've been into Gettysburg, seen the first part of RoSfest (Magic Pie), drooled at the size and facilities offered by the theatre and I can summarise the rest of this blog post in a few bullet points...

The Good

America is beautiful. It's all so big - and sort of how I imagined it would be, just greener and bigger
The people are so polite and inquisitive - I've been asked where I'm from and what we're doing here on so many occasions.
The food is rather good too - although there is a caveat on this one.

The Bad

The chocolate is disgusting, sugary and flavourless... it's like licking railway sleepers.
Public transport? - what public transport? - not even a Taxi company in Gettysburg!

I know one thing... I will be returning to South Pennsylvania sometime in the future to see some more of this amazing area.

Clear skies ahead... oh and Group 4...

2010-04-21T21:32:00.007+01:00

So the latest ash cloud worries turn out to have been what essentially amounts to a massive over-reaction. Well... I hate to say I told you so...

It turns out the weather computer predictions showing massive swathes of ash all over Europe might have had the concentrations set a bit strong... you're telling me!

Well, all is settling down, the skies are open, and planes are moving across them leaving those contrails that as an astronomer I usually hate, but as a would be transatlantic traveller I'm quite liking them. It's strange how your perception changes...

On 1st May the big event happens... months of planning... rehearsing... and building up to it. Nearly dashed at the last hurdle by a bloody Icelandic volcano, but luckily, saved by a change in wind and a change of policy.

I'm recording tomorrow night - I think I'm going to do the bass lines for TIC. I've had a listen to it with real drums and I think I have a general idea of what's got to happen for a lot of it, and the rest, well... I'll just make it up as I go along.

... oh and my latest "big install job" has been passed by Building Control and the Fire Officer. Woot!... take that Fireguard, yer big bunch of jessies!

Finally... Group 4 have FINALLY responded:

Here is a couple of excerpts from the emyther

With regards to the matter of the crew using the zig-zag area by the pedestrian crossing all crew members who service the area have been informed that these actions were totally inappropriate and disruptive to the general public and that any future incidents such as this will not be tolerated. A record of your complaint has now been placed on file. All crews in the area have also been reminded that at no time are they to park on zig-zag markings and that any future occurrences will be taken extremely seriously.

It is unfortunately the case that due to the inherent nature of our business there are many high risk locations such as banks and building societies and in these instances G4S work closely with town planning and local councils wherever possible to ensure that secure parking can be found. Sadly in many cases we are forced to deal with an infrastructure already in place that takes no account of the high risk of violent attack for cash couriers, and it is at times like these that we are faced with a difficult situation. In this particular situation there are currently parking difficulties for our vehicles when servicing the local Yorkshire Bank branch and as such, we have been in communication with the bank with a view to finding a solution that is both more secure to our drivers and to the general public as we aim to not only protect our own employees but also to reduce the risk to members of the public in the vicinity from being caught up in any attacks.

This is however no excuse for causing disruption and difficulties to the general public in the meantime and until a better parking solution is found, going forward all G4S vehicles will always look to use what parking there is available. Please accept my apologies on behalf of G4S for any distress or disruption caused by this incident.

.... I suppose you could say it's somewhat of a result .... at least they've been arsed to actually follow it up.

In case you're wondering what the hell I'm on about... the full story is here

2010-04-19T09:47:00.002+01:00

I've had a strange weekend. Checking the state of the skies occasionally, and worrying slightly about the forthcoming and impending trip to the USA to play RoSfest - more as a worry to poor George Roldan and the team over at RoSfest who must be cacking kidneys right now - the flight ban would affect around 50% of bands playing the festival, as well as a number of punters who I know are travelling from Europe to be there.

I'm sure it will clear or flights will be allowed with conditions (possibly lower flying and slower speeds) as the possibility of 10 or more days of no flights is frightening.

We have our flight booked - and as far as I know nothing can affect that. They can't just "oversell" planes like they can trains because after all, you have to have a seat on a plane - it's just... well.. the law. Could you imagine Virgin Atlantic planes with people standing in the aisles? I shudder to think how bad that could be.

I've checked out my seat details - and hmmm... is all I can say. I do need an aisle seat - I'm rather tall and a window seat just forces me into a state of numbness and DVT, but according to seatguru there is limited under seat space for my seat out there... looks like I have a raw deal.

I re-installed Ubuntu on my NB100 alongside my existing Windows install. It's a little bit broken, but not unbearably so - the inbuilt mic doesn't work, and the lovely window effects have to be turned off as the graphics card is recognised as a Generic card so cross fades etc. don't work. I'm sure when 10.4 is released we'll see some improvement, but for now they're late.

Finally - I played Petrol Station Roulette this morning and came the closest ever to running out. As I pulled onto the forecourt the van shuddered and started firing on 2 cylinders indicating that the fuel was indeed spent. A new record though - 320.5 miles out of the £36.00 tank! Not because I drive slower, just because the petrol station is just after a downhill and the fuel outlet is at the front of the tank so I could squeeze that extra half mile out of it.

It scares me, though, that when I first got the van I struggled to get £30 of fuel in it, and that was wringing it up the top of the filler neck... now it easily passes £35 and can make £36 if REALLY empty.

On another note - the steering rack has sorted itself out... it was grinding and clunking, so at the advice of a friend I drove a few journeys with the gaiters at the end unclipped and let any debris fall out... sure enough... out it came. It only really started after the bad snow... but what could it have been?

Earth shows her teeth

2010-04-18T00:16:00.003+01:00

The spectacle of a continent being born is magnificent, however, as someone who is intending to cross the Atlantic in less that a fortnight I'm hoping the volcanic activity in Iceland settles down and the ash stops being blown high into the stratosphere.

No flight have passed through European airspace now for a couple of days, and it doesn't look set to improve any time soon, especially with the calm weather we're having right now, and the winds coming from Iceland's general direction.

Perhaps someone could go and plop a big Alka Seltzer in the volcanic crater?

Group 4 park like dicks.

2010-04-15T22:54:00.003+01:00

A blanket statement, you may think, but actually - judging by the three examples below captured within a very short period they need to prove otherwise. I am currently drawing a blank G4S over these. I emailed requesting they notify their drivers that this sort of parking and just abandoning their vehicles is not acceptable - the first of which is an offence liable to land the driver with a £60 fine and 3 points on their licence - and I have had a response, but the follow up email hasn't happened.

I don't know if they are like this all over the country, but it seems our South Yorkshire drivers are just dicks.

Hillsborough, Sheffield - Zig Zags adjacent crossing

Bolton-on-Dearne - G4S van parked across entrance

Fenton Road, Rotherham - Disabled Space

Who keeps breaking the kitchen?

2010-04-12T12:27:00.002+01:00

Who keeps breaking the kitchen?
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

We were wondering why parts of the plinth in the kitchen kept coming away.

We now found the answer... it's a cat thing.

In the news this week...

First it appears I have something called "Post Nasal Dripping". It sounds gross, that's because it is. Apparently flu, colds, hayfever etc. can set it off and it's only controllable and curable with long term decongestant treatments. Basically - I'm off the coffees for a few weeks :-(

The weekend was good too - I was in retro heaven! - Hannah booked a surprise day out for me at a retro gaming fair for a very early Birthday present - a fair where I could spend hours playing classic 80's 8 bit games. I did... I finished Manic Miner (including my least favourite level The Solar Power Generator) - and found a fair crowd had assembled behind me whilst I did it!

22 days to RoSfest... ooooohhh getting close now!

2010-04-07T17:38:00.002+01:00

In three weeks from now I will be on my way to Leeds on the very first leg of my journey to RoSfest. It will, of course, be blogged and documented here (WIFI availability permitting) and the run-up will also be blogged.

Last night I laid down some bass for Charlestown (the epic 36 minuter from the new album). Amazingly, in 4 hours I managed just 5 minutes of bass - there really is that much to it, but I did manage to get through the entire introduction and the first section of the song and into the second section (where Taurus takes over from me for a while).

Tomorrow I will be buying an extra catch for my flightcase and fitting it - the flightcase is good, but I think three catches (one near the handle) will be better as the problem with flightcases without the centre catch is that if you yank the handle very hard you can pull the top of the case apart. I've had experience of this happening once before... I'm not sure where to get the catch from - perhaps B&Q?

Between us we're just trying to sort out luggage allowances - my bass case is oversized for one carrier and chargeable, but not for the other - so we're not sure if I'll have to pay for both ways nor not. The bit of touring you don't always see...

Bank Holidays... days unlike any other

2010-04-05T19:29:00.002+01:00

I have noticed a few things you only see on bank holidays, particularly on our Motorway network:

1. Middle lane owners - yeah, I know - you get these all the time... but they're WORSE on bank holidays.

2. Breakdowns - on our way to Kenilworth and back we counted in excess of 15 broken down vehicles each way. I guess this is the old "holiday" syndrome - a car usually used for the school run and Tescos is expected to go 300-400 miles, usually with no servicing at all.

3. Speeders - not your normal run of the mill 90mph speeders, no these are a special breed. The people who don't understand how SPECS cameras work and drive at 70mph through the 50mph limit in the roadworks between M1 junctions 28 and 25... braking hard and slowing down to pass through each camera... I assume, so the cameras can get a clearer picture of you at lower speed so the ticket you've just received has more chance of success if passed on to courts. Do these people not understand what an average is?

Anyway. Blah blah blah hate Bank Holiday drivers. Yeah, I hate all humans. You know me well.

The human race is shit.

2010-04-03T17:34:00.001+01:00

Inconsiderate Parking... OWND!
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

I have very little faith in many human beings after a visit to Sheffield today.

Firstly my parking at Meadowhall - an inconsiderate driver decided that it was acceptable to park overlapping an adjacent space. There is no excuse for this. If you can't fit your vehicle within the lines you shouldn't be driving it. Period.

I used to drive a 3.5 tonne luton box van. I could get it into any parking space without problems. Why the owner of this tiny Honda Jazz needs to overlap the adjacent space is beyond me, but you could say thanks to my small van they are well and truly OWND.

A guy driving past who saw me park even wound down his window and congratulated me on this little act.

Secondly, the peace gardens... why did the arrogant students insist on getting up off their blanket, folding it away, and walk off leaving a pile of rubbish behind?. Thankfully the city ambassadors (bless 'em) saw it happen, and confronted the students... I didn't see the end of the conversation but I am aware that £75 fines are readily dispensed for littering in Sheffield.

Finally, the chavs on the tram. I'm sorry to say that modern teenagers are due a major slap down for their attitude - and I sound like an old man saying that, but I do believe it's true. First of all one of the lads was swinging on the handrail like it was a monkey bar and the call came over the tannoy for him to stop it... he did.

Then the conductor came along to and asked them for tickets. They all asked for under 16's tickets and he asked them for ID. They all declined and he said "well it's full price then". The barrage of abuse he got was not acceptable and he pressed the alarm button summoning the driver to stop at the next stop and calling the second guard.

They were ejected from the tram at Woodbourn Road... and they thought it was funny and clever to do this. Sadly, I know they will just get on the next tram and do exactly the same on there.

I might add that one of the over-made-up girls who obviously thought she was beautiful had a face resembling a dropped Fray Bentos pie painted with Dulux non-drip gloss paint. Shocking.

I'm going to be a published photographer!

2010-04-01T21:04:00.003+01:00

It seems the people at icanhascheezburger.com have taken notice of a couple of my photos:

I've just signed the form to have them published in their forthcoming book... and will be getting a complimentary copy for my photos. Wonderful!

... old friends ... and the BST argument

2010-03-28T19:54:00.002+01:00

3/086:365 - Joe Lazarus 11 years on.
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

I was rather surprised a few weeks ago to find that some old music friends, Keith and Dave Angel were playing a gig at the Doncaster Civic Theatre with their current band The Angel Brothers.

What was more surprising however, was to find out that the entirety of Joe Lazarus, my old 1990's band of approx 2 and a half years were going to be there too.

Anyway, off I went to the Civic, and sure enough I was greeted by Dan Evans and Chris Perkins. Neither Wayne nor Paul showed...

However - what you see here is the three of us - 11 years after the original band split up, and actually - not looking too different, if a little older...

Today, I lost an hour. I searched everywhere, under the fridge - down the gaps in the sofa - even behind the toilet where I normally daren't go, but no... it's gone. Forever.

This, of course, brings up that old plum of "Oh we should go onto BST for good, or bring our time in line with the rest of Europe".

No, actually. The decision makers are in London. In London they get about 7 hours 45 minutes of light on Midwinter's day, with sunrise happening at around 5 past 8. Should we stay on BST that would be 09:05... doable I suppose?

Well in Sheffield we get around 7 hours 15 minutes of daylight on midwinter's day, with sunrise happening at around 8:40... thus meaning if we stayed on BST we would have a 9:40 Sunrise... clearly not as good.

Now in Glasgow, they get around 6 hours 50 minutes of daylight on the same date, 21st December... sunrise isn't till 5 to 9, which would mean their sunrise on BST would be 9:55... it wouldn't get light 'till half past 10!

So in summary, Londoners and MP's - stick your winter BST up your arse... no-one north of Watford actually wants it.

Counting out Time...

2010-03-26T19:45:00.002Z

3/084:365 - Counting out Time
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

It's just 35 days to RoSfest now and it is approaching rapidly. I'm striking days of the calendar at an alarming rate and this time want to be prepared.

I've started preparing my things for it - today's pay day was used on a visit to Boots for various travel toiletries (damn that 100ml hand luggage limit).

I got my flight case at last... why are these things so expensive?

Embarrassing Song Lyrics

2010-03-22T14:09:00.002Z

I'm lucky being with Manning that I don't have to endure any cringe making embarrassing song lyrics...

At 5:

anything with "Play with Fire / You're gonna get burnt"... eeeeeew for god's sake just stop it.

At 4:

Wizards and Pixies - anything mentioning anything to do with fantasy - especially in Progressive rock music. Marillion and King Crimson went there in the 70's and 80's and it just isn't funny any more.

At 3:

"Life is a Rollercoaster just gotta ride it". Ronan, just fuck off.

At 2:

"I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride... and I'm wanted Dead or Alive". As if the first line wasn't bad enough, the second in this Bon Jovi "trashic" just makes me sick in my own mouth.

At 1 - the WORST LYRICS of all time...

"I listen to the melody, the words and the chorus, no 20 minute solo's, cos I'm not a brontosaurus" (Tara's Secret - bless 'em) - because it DOESN'T HAVE TO RHYME!

Anyway, after that sick inducing pile of cheese - here's something rather cool.

Poundland are doing laptop fan cooler bases for get this... £1 - I bought one for my rather snazzy little 8.9" Toshiba NB100 (which I might add has a strange ability to reach the temperature of a small nuclear furnace if the vents are blocked by anything at all). It's keeping it at a rather cool 44 degrees rather than 70/80 as previously experienced.

Contemplating...

2010-03-21T11:09:00.002Z

Last night we played, what I believe, is the most powerful and tightest gig we have ever played as Manning. I could hear all the band really well thanks to rather good monitoring (Nightingale Audio Systems bless ya) and without a doubt the new line-up of the band was so together it was frightening!

I'm not sure how we did on merchandise, but we came away with a nice lump sum from the door take which will now be put in the kitty to fund America.

This got me thinking... and I'm sorry to go on here because I did say I wasn't going to mention a previous band ever again, but in the context of things I believe this is warranted...

In all the time I was in a previous band I piled almost £4000 into recording an album I get very little recognition on and absolutely no money out of - so much so that I now actually disowned the album (I'm not proud of it and I don't think it shows me as a good bassist), plus it cost us £2000+ to tour Europe... and for what?

After all that gigging you would think the band could do better, but it was like climbing the wrong escalator when so many other (poorer) bands seemed to have got on the right one... you might get there eventually, but you'll be physically and mentally drained by the time you do, and along the way you might have to stop for a breather - at which point you're sliding backwards all the time and other people are passing you on the other escalator.

I realised in the end that it wasn't going anywhere, except all over Europe paying loads of money to be someone elses roadies in exchange for a token support slot... and when you try doing it on your own it's hard... and yes, you'll play in front of 10 people in a place in Switzerland with the arc of fear firmly planted in front of the stage.

Running around wiping has-been bands arses and collecting them from airports didn't work either. One Firefest we were the bitches of Gotthard on the promise of a gig... Yep... Opening slot at the pre-show party... nice packed house, but no-one gave a shit. Really. They didn't. And we provided gear... upstairs... in Nottingham. Yep... they had our number.

We played with Great White... yep... gear bitches again. They turned up after the stage was set, played, annoyed the crap out of me (bass man - why did you insist on keep covering up the ventilation fan on top of my amp and then wonder why the thermal cut out tripped?) and gave us precisely crap all... the measly 4 bottles of water and multi pack of crisps as Shepherds Bush Empire was crap - there were 1000+ in there at over £12 a ticket!

So I suppose you could say in 9 years we floated. Never going up the evolutionary tree, but never really going down either. One final thing occurs though - I regularly watch Youtube, Flickr etc. because no matter how many thousands of people you have on Myspace, you're still only collecting names. Real fans post fan videos and fan pics on the web... fake fans just say "oh thanks for the add".

I definitely put this episode to bed at the right time. Farewell.

Next stop.... RoSfest!

Not Guilty!

2010-03-18T18:10:00.001Z

The police evidence looked shakey... mine looked good.

The magistrates decided that I was not guilty.

I might now have a beer...

Thursday... bloody Thursday

2010-03-18T08:44:00.002Z

OK, so McDonalds does have it's benefits - cheap, acceptable coffee and Free WiFi. Without McDonalds I wouldn't be here typing this now. Sadly their vegetarian options are still rather poor although some branches of Burger King now do a Veggie Burger (which is Vegetarian Society Approved).

Anyway, I an issue today - first of all this afternoon - the Court hearing (read: me versus the Police). I'm fighting the law... I hope the law doesn't win, but if they do, I'd love to know why and will appeal - I have a hell of a lot of evidence including phone logs for all company phones (from Orange), Bills, a letter from my Doctor, and a witness. They have.... er... 2 coppers who said they saw me using a mobile phone whilst driving - from 10 metres away - on a bright sunny October day with deep shadows and a low sun.

It's not the Court case that's bothering me, it's the waste of public money for something so trivial which is why I am fighting it all the way rather than allowing the CPS to drop it, after all, it's now cost me money to fight this and if the CPS dropped it I would get nothing, and neither would the police. I want a Not Guilty verdict.

Sadly, these two police (who I will name when this case is finished) have treated me like scum, and I bet they slept well last night... I promise they will have sleepless nights soon when the tables turn and the IPCC get involved, and as for their commander who said "I couldn't complain without comparison evidence"... well he'll get the equivalent of the building I saw on Monday up his ringpiece.

Anyway, onto a lighter note... I've just observed the unachievable... A guy has just paid for his coffee in McDonalds and pulled the LARGEST WALLET KNOWN TO MAN out of his TROUSER POCKET!... I need trousers with pockets like that... Seriously it must have been A5 sized! It was some sort of web tablet thing inside the case too.

I remember when I had my Ameo people used to comment how big it was... but this beast made my ameo look tiny.

That brings me onto the subject of pockets - I hate formal clothing with functional pockets. Am I the only one? - if you're wearing a smart suit, why spoil the lines with unsightly lumps and bumps as you stuff your phone, wallet, mp3 player etc into the pockets...? For god's sake carry a man bag! It's the 21st century so it's perfectly acceptable.

Manscara, on the other hand, is just wrong. All the time. A band I was never in have a singer who wears manscara onstage. He looks like he used Homer Simpson's make-up gun to apply it... yes, really.

Anyway, that's it for this morning's comment. There will probably be updates later via twitter, facebook, and possibly on here.

London - Part 2

2010-03-15T20:58:00.003Z

well... what can I say, except that pissing and whining DOES get results from time to time...

I arrived back at Kings Cross with just over an hour to go till my train. I know - I'll go to the first class lounge and use the free WIFI and power to charge my laptop.

I entered checkpoint charlie (otherwise known as Mr. Jobsworth) and was told "oh you can't go there with that ticket"...

Yes... apparently East Coast Trains have many intricate levels of First Class varying from totally shite, to gold plated shite... and had I had an "open" ticket I could go in the lounge, but with my meagre "advance" ticket I had to pay £5 for the "upgrade" to go in the lounge.

Oh East Coast Trains, you're endearing yourselves to me even more all the time!

Well... I blew my top!

After the shitty journey I had yesterday with no trolley service, and absolutely no point in bloody well bothering with first class (except perhaps the half dozen "complimentary" biscuits I snaffled at Doncaster) I had taken enough of their crap!

I called for the supervisor, who came, and was equally jobsworth. He could see I was getting less and less impressed - after all I could have gone from Sheffield where no such rules apply - and I made it rather clear that I was unimpressed. "Sorry but I can't do anything, rules is rules" was the rather unconvincing reply.

I therefore demanded that they refund me the difference between my "first class" ticket and a standard class ticket (which would have been almost £30 due to the way they use the random number calculator to generate these fares)...

The supervisor called for one of the head honchos... yes... really!

Anyhow, I can now tell you that I did not pay for the "upgrade", and I went into the first class lounge and snaffled another half dozen dunky biscuit things... I still travelled first class... oh and we have a refund of £28 returning to our bank account as a gesture of goodwill.

If you complain enough, they'll get fed up of you.

Anyway, this is camp Manning Bassist signing off somewhere just south of Grantham.

Kris's big London adventure... Part 1

2010-03-15T15:51:00.002Z

Sunday Afternoon... 3:15pm...

The start of a long journey via the wonders of our rail network to London. Two trains, 1 change, and First Class thanks to a little known thing called the "Internet" which allows you to check the price difference between Standard and First class - and book said tickets if they are cheap enough.

The price difference for me was under 5 pounds, which bearing in mind for two journeys I can spend that on Coffee - free in First Class.

That... however... was where the happy happy joy joy moment ended.

Arriving at Doncaster I was told many times over the tannoy that the train was Standing Only in both Standard and First Class. I had a ticket with a reserved seat, so no problem... and indeed I had no problems getting my seat.

Sadly I discovered that they had stopped the complimentary trolley service because they "couldn't get through". Remind me again why I purchased a First Class ticket...?

A fairly event free journey followed to London - although we did go through the mother of all thunderstorms at Peterborough - and a fairly event free journey up to Enfield Chase station too.

The night was spent at a friend of the band's house and I must thank them for putting us up for the night.

The morning happened... 5AM! - I didn't realise there were two 5 o'clock's in a day!. A journey back down to Grosvenor Square and the US Embassy to face the ordeal of telling them we wanted to visit the USA for a few days and might just make some money... and they decided my case was valid and indeed the Visa was granted without query.

Now, I'm sat in Costa Coffee using my 3G (why does Costas NOT have Free WIFI for f**ks sake it's the 21st Century) and writing this... I can't wait to get home now but my train isn't till 8pm so I am visiting a few places I've wanted to see in London... and will use the 1st Class Lounge at Kings Cross to kill the final hour (the place I am visiting next closes at 6pm and it's about an hour to Kings Cross).

... adventure part 2 to follow ...

Just a big ol' bummer...

2010-03-13T20:48:00.002Z

I recently encountered homophobia on a major scale...

On a recent job, a young apprentice kept making rather offensive comments about gay people. I decided he needed to be taught a lesson, and being about twice the size of him I led him on to a rumour that I was gay.

He suddenly clammed up, then started making comments that "he had gay friends"... etc. and then kept out of my way. Not a bad thing really because he was annoying me.

He obviously told his boss at some point because later that afternoon when I mentioned that I was married and mentioned Hannah. His boss said "you're married? oh we thought you batted for the other team - that's alright then" and then proceeded to make... wait for it... offensive comments about gay people.

I then found out his boss was his father...

Like father like son I guess.

On a slightly lighter note, it's a year since Uber Chav Jade Goody shuffled off her mortal coil. It's amazing how many jokes exist about her...

Embarrassing Bodies?

2010-03-05T22:00:00.009Z

I've just watched a little bit of Embarrassing Bodies, brought to you by the very Danish Christian Jessen (pictured left).

Now the question is... if you had a little problem with your brown hoop which meant it needed to be cut up in a rather severe way... would you go on national television and show the world your balloon knot?

It takes a special kind of person to do such a thing.

Just as it takes a special kind of person to wear such an ugly shirt as the one he was just wearing... it resembled an accident in a Blackpool Rock factory.

Park where you please?

2010-03-04T22:11:00.004Z

Why do some people think it is acceptable to totally block a footpath with their cars/vans?

Today I was witness to some arrogant contractors who obviously didn't have any problems with committing such an offence. They blocked the footpath at a major junction, parking one vehicle virtually overlapping the tactiles at the lights.

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but as someone who carries out building works around the area I generally ensure I am considerate to neighbours and surrounding businesses when working...

I've had a bad week on the roads this week - a Jacksons Builders Merchants lorry pulled out on me earlier this week, and I've been unable to tax my van due to insurance companies faffing around... oh well.

Meanwhile on planet earth...

The USA trip is now taking shape - flights are planned, trips to the US Embassy planned... and I've made plans to travel down there (first class!) to deal with the visa.

Also... I'm sure the bloke who works at our local post office fancies me... ? yeah I'm confused too... which gets me onto...

Leather Trousers - Advantages and Disadvantages

The bad things:

1. You instantly get branded as a Biker, Rockstar or Gay Man when you wear them.

2. or someone mentions that sodding episode of Friends where Ross gets all sweaty in his and ends up smearing talc and cream all over his legs (obviously written by someone who has never worn them)

3. The price - a good pair is in excess of £80, and cheaper pairs tend to be poor quality...

The good things:

1. Chicks dig blokes in leather trousers (the thigh stroking is good)

2. Comfort - warm in winter, cool in spring and autumn, although not good in the heat of summer.

3. Long Lasting

Right I'm off now... I can see a nice piece of footpath that's dying to get my van parked on it... it's called the Peace Gardens ;-)

Big Balls!

2010-02-27T23:37:00.004Z

Why is there something really amusing about watching the American public utterly humiliate themselves on national television?

I'm talking Total Wipeout of course (known as just Wipeout in the USA)

Watching people bouncing across giant foam obstacle courses reminds me of school sports days... except Wipeout has less tears and injuries... or perhaps a polite nod back to the classic It's a Knockout without the daft costumes, jokers and the hyena cackling that was Stuart Hall - the man who single handedly made it watchable (although the less said about It's a Royal Knockout the better).

The thing that really makes it for me though is the presenter John Henson who at the end of every episode says - quite straight faced - "And Big Balls".

I doubt that means quite the same in US speak, but I know what it means over here and it's definitely titter-worthy.

If you haven't caught onto it yet - I'd suggest you give it a go, but pass on the UK version. It's just not as mean, although the giggling of Craig Charles certainly does make it O.K.

Science IS fun!

2010-02-27T18:58:00.002Z

I've just finished watching Jim Al-Khalili presenting the programme Chemistry: A Volatile History on BBC4. It was absolutely engrossing especially when covering what could become a very boring subject (think Open University 1970's). A great presenter... and why does his surname make me think Alkali?... hmmm...

I am so relieved that we in the UK have such an amazing organisation at the BBC when it comes to producing such stunning programming as this, after all, which commercial broadcasters and producers do you know who would even touch something like this with a bargepole?

Now, doubters, you think the licence fee isn't worth 4 channels and loads of national and local radio?

History of Everything

2010-02-26T19:47:00.001Z

I would love to know why this song is not available (presently) on itunes. As a fan of the Barenaked Ladies I would love to get a copy on my MP3 player.

New photo

2010-02-25T20:09:00.006Z

Today I decided I needed a new photo.

The nice thing about being a photographer, though, is that when you need a new photo to represent yourself it's fairly easy to sort and costs nothing.

The new one represents me as I now am due to my rather dramatic change of hair (or loss of...).

Taken using three strobes, all at the left of the picture and all bounced into umbrellas - silver for my face, and white for the rest of me.

I had to do a little work on the highlights, particularly around the headstock of the bass and on my trousers and the guitar strap, but the effort was worth it and I'm really pleased with the result.

Facebook - the latest target for scammers.

2010-02-24T21:53:00.004Z

Facebook is being swamped just lately by scammers.

In traditional 5 things style - here's 5 things that you can't get on Facebook by joining groups of becoming a fan of or adding an application.

1. Gold Accounts. They don't exist. Simple.

2. A dislike button. Same again. No such thing (yet) although when Facebook decide to add it you'll know about it.

3. See who's looking at your profile. I can tell you who is - people who are your friends (provided you've set it private)... otherwise, anyone. The lists generated are random - if you don't believe me, run the app twice in quick succession.

4. You can't have the old layout back.

5. You can't change the layout or colours of your profile. They all look the same. Fact.

Finally... will people stop inviting me to groups and become fans of things I don't give a shit about?

Five things I discovered this week:

2010-02-24T20:40:00.004Z

1. Tesco's Mobile Phone Shop in Wath is crap.

2. Volvo drivers are blind. They must be, cos they never see anyone else on the road.

3. Apparently, you have to tune your bass weekly... damn.

4. Something I posted a month ago came true recently... read between the lines... you know what I mean.

5. Micro USB exists... and I thought my new Samsung phone had a bizarre charger it turns out it's the new standard one for all phones.

Prog is stagnating...

2010-02-20T12:40:00.003Z

In the early nineties a group of progressive rock fans formed a little known organisation called The Classic Rock Society, and lo, it was good.

People around the world joined because after all - no-one else would touch Prog with a shitty stick. Bands couldn't get gigs because most venues wanted to put on the latest brit-pop soundalikes. We were all wearing pale coloured baggy linen suits with pastel shirts, and there were just three Star Wars films.

It was an unsure time for Music. The fledgling Internet was still running at clockwork speeds and MP3 had yet to become a buzzword...

The CRS (thankfully the appreciation bit was dropped because CRAS was just not a good acronym) continued to slog on with the likes of Martin Hudson, Jenny Allan, Paul Allwood, Terry Craven and a dedicated team of helpers making it happen. First at The Florence, and originally - one off - at The Montgom (before it shut, then reopened). Moving up to the HLC and then Oakwood... getting bigger... getting better.

Suddenly we were in Year 2000 and Prog was a word people didn't mutter under their breath any more. We were all proud prog fans, flying our prog colours with pride. Wearing our prog T-Shirts without fear of our friends pointing and giggling at us.

then... the tide turned... it all started to go a bit wrong...

Prog became fashionable in a way. Many venues around the country changed their colours and started accepting bands who had previously been told a definite NO, and the CRS started to struggle and flounder slightly as attendances dropped and magazine subscriptions fell. Martin's constant ranting about it wasn't helping - demoralising if you will... but we all slogged on and kept it ticking over.

Now, though, I fear for the future.

I'm watching new festivals crop up all the time and it should be a good thing, but it's not. The problem is that many bands are now over-playing and are getting over saturated... soon the fans will become bored and will move on. I could name bands who have peaked and are now on the decline... we need some fresh blood coming up.

Hopefully the saviours of the prog scene (such bands as Riversea, DeeExpus, IOearth) will not go the same way.

It scares me.

Tribute bands sadden me

2010-02-13T23:31:00.002Z

Tribute bands have their place. There's no doubting that it's nice to see a song you know and love being performed note perfect, such as the excellent Italian band The Watch (pictured), but it saddens me that this very talented band - who perform Genesis covers as well as their own material - pulled such a large crowd at the Wesley Centre tonight, and yet had they been performing their own material instead of Genesis covers I would expect the crowd to shrink to about a quarter of that which was in tonight.

Without original bands, where would the tribute bands be?

Thanks Classic Rock Society!

2010-02-10T22:41:00.003Z

Thanks Classic Rock Society!
Originally uploaded by Last Human Gateway

6th best album of the year?

Yes... we're chuffed!

(edit)

Just noticed... 10th best gig of the year too! Thanks CRS! Again.

Facebook

2010-02-08T21:47:00.002Z

I like the new Facebook layout which appeared about about half past seven tonight. As usual people will whinge, but based on the fact that you're using a free site as are hundreds of your friends, and Facebook offer you free storage of photos, blogs, etc. Do you actually have any right to whinge?. Go on... take your business elsewhere... but where will you go that actually offers the same as Facebook? - Bebo?

I like it. Nuff said.

Meanwhile... I had a happy happy joy joy moment today. I went to add someone to a photo and found when I typed their name in it didn't appear in the requester any more. When I went to their profile directly they'd defriended me. Oh I'm so sad. It was a relic from CRS days when I had to be nice to this person that they were a friend on Facebook, but in all honesty without naming names, I can say that I have never met a bigger more egotistic twat who actually managed to conduct an entire gig without uttering so much as a grunt at me. Good fucking riddance!. Time for a Bud I think!