Note that the below is intended as a joke, and should not be taken seriously. Unless, of course, Apple have patented jokes, in which case I had better consult my solicitor.
Apple™ have a surprisingly large number of patents either issued or pending and seem to sue at the drop of a hat, so just to avoid any trouble I thought I would share with you some of their more unknown ones...
The Periodic Table of Elements™
Apple™ patented the elements back in 1325. They sued Mendeleev for tabulating them and won on an out of court settlement. Mendeleev was bankrupted and went back to counting iron™ filings for a hobby.
Apple™ successfully ruled out prior art for fire™ after successfully patenting lightning™. Now when lightning™ creates fire™, Apple™ owns the fire™.
The original wheel™ was Apple™ shaped, but people complained that the ride was bumpy. Apple™ therefore patented the Orange™ and based the wheel™ on it's shape instead.
When God™ gave man the Apple™, man didn…